Speaking of your mom jokes... True story: A bunch of friends of mine were playing poker, including one guy who we'll call "Josh" (because that's his name) and his brother, "Justin". After a new hand had been dealt, Josh asked "What's wild?" to which Justin replied "Your Mom!". Justin needs to start thinking before he speaks.
I was once dating a woman with two teenage sons. The four of us were going out to dinner one evening when they started insulting each other. It was mildly amusing until the older boy (I think he was 15) called his younger brother a "mofo." I whipped my head around and asked him "you don't know what that means, exactly, do you?"
"Um... no..."
"I do. And if I ever hear you using it again, I'll make sure your mother does, too."
Later, while they were away from the table, their mother bullied me into telling her just what it was short for. When they returned, the older boy got a serious dressing-down -- but he STILL wasn't told what he meant.
Fighting with your brother is one thing, but there are some things you just don't call him... especially in your mother's presence.
The real answer to The Riddler's puzzler is: "The menu."
My favorite yo mama joke isn't even a joke; it's from Ice-T's O.G. album, in which he says, "Yo mama got two feet growing out of her titties. Bitch fell down and kept running."
Since I moved in to my current appartment (actually, since I first met my current roommate a couple years ago) I've yet to answer a query of his without saying "your mom." Like yesterday morning when he was foolish enough to ask "what's that you're eating?" Or when he asked me who I thought the mastermind behind Identity Crisis was.
Yes, it's a mystery why he even bothers to talk to me.
"A social experiment to see if we can wax politically, muse about evolving social morays, or banter about the human condition while simultaneously keeping one foot firmly planted in juvenile "mom-joke" humor."
36 comments:
I cannot explain the profound allure the "your mom" joke has on me. It beckons to me...
Its amazing how many riddles can be answered "your mom."
"Your mom" is a siren, leading sailors to their doom.
And your friends to her bedroom.
You know who'd make a good Hawkman?
Your mom.
Your right it is alluring.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Your mom
Great. Now I'll be doing this all day.
Who'd win in a fight between Darth Vader and Spider-man?
Your mom!
Ze problem, she iz solved!
My favorite is giving someone a phone message: "Hey, Joe called."
"Joe who?"
"Joe MAMA!!"
Its amazing how many riddles can be answered "your mom."
"What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs
in the evening?"
Hm. You're right!
"What has four wheels and flies?"
Hmm. Well that does sound like my mom....
(Don't ask...)
Speaking of your mom jokes...
True story: A bunch of friends of mine were playing poker, including one guy who we'll call "Josh" (because that's his name) and his brother, "Justin". After a new hand had been dealt, Josh asked "What's wild?" to which Justin replied "Your Mom!". Justin needs to start thinking before he speaks.
I was once dating a woman with two teenage sons. The four of us were going out to dinner one evening when they started insulting each other. It was mildly amusing until the older boy (I think he was 15) called his younger brother a "mofo." I whipped my head around and asked him "you don't know what that means, exactly, do you?"
"Um... no..."
"I do. And if I ever hear you using it again, I'll make sure your mother does, too."
Later, while they were away from the table, their mother bullied me into telling her just what it was short for. When they returned, the older boy got a serious dressing-down -- but he STILL wasn't told what he meant.
Fighting with your brother is one thing, but there are some things you just don't call him... especially in your mother's presence.
J.
(Jay Tea of http://wizbangblog.com)
Speaking from experience, Justin was absolutely right.
My mother once called my brother a son of a bitch.
To this day, it makes me chuckle.
I may be dense, but what was the real answer?
And what about Your Momma jokes?
I think the best take on this was in a strip of the Achewood webcomic, a quote offered here out of context:
“Your momma’s so fat she broke her leg and hot bloody fat sprayed everywhere! Some even got on the mayor!”
If there was a teen Riddler, this should totally be his motif. Of course, then his riddles would be even easier to solve.
If there was a teen Riddler, this should totally be his motif. Of course, then his riddles would be even easier to solve.
Teen Riddler: Answer this riddle to discover my next target: What's black and white and red all over?
All-Star Robin: Holy shit, Goddamn- Batman! He's gonna rob your mom!"
I really hope we see this exchange in an upcoming All-Star Batman and Robin.
Who do you wish Antonio had sex with so you could be the second handsomest man alive?
Your Mom!
three gems:
Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo momma so fat it takes her two trips to haul ass.
:)
The real answer to The Riddler's puzzler is: "The menu."
My favorite yo mama joke isn't even a joke; it's from Ice-T's O.G. album, in which he says, "Yo mama got two feet growing out of her titties. Bitch fell down and kept running."
WTF, Ice T? What does that even mean?
I don't know why I'm spelling "momma" like that: "mama." I'm not Italian.
It's Davide Cambellini!
The real answer to The Riddler's puzzler is: "The menu."
But... that makes no sense. Often, people peruse the menus after dinner, to see if they want dessert or a drink...
Yo momma got a glass eye with a fish in it.
Yo momma got a peg leg with a kickstand.
Yo momma got a hairweave with a chinstrap.
Yo momma is an extra on The Simpsons.
Since I moved in to my current appartment (actually, since I first met my current roommate a couple years ago) I've yet to answer a query of his without saying "your mom." Like yesterday morning when he was foolish enough to ask "what's that you're eating?" Or when he asked me who I thought the mastermind behind Identity Crisis was.
Yes, it's a mystery why he even bothers to talk to me.
Check out this entry from Beaucoup Kevin:
Your Mom!
(which goes to this great Jack Chick parody by Eric Faustus.)
Coincedence? I think not!
My friend Scott's new blog:
ibloggedyourmom
"A social experiment to see if we can wax politically, muse about evolving social morays, or banter about the human condition while simultaneously keeping one foot firmly planted in juvenile "mom-joke" humor."
Stop! Stop! You guys are gonna make me drop my laptop!
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