Here's a comic book ad from the early 70's that I am certain spawned the phrase, "What the fuck?"
As is often the case with comic ads featuring, um, drawings of celebrities, a couple of kids are walking through a park or a landfill or something, and they spot a sports legend like Roger Staubach or Rick Berry and Dr. J shooting hoops or playing skittle ball. "Hey look!" the kids exclaim. "It's a drawing of (insert sports star name here)! Wow, and he's using a (insert name of product here)! Wow again!"
In this case, the kids stumble upon star quarterback Roger Staubach, who is hiding in some bushes keeping in shape with a gruelling solo game of skittle bowl. Excuse me, I mean Olympic-size skittle bowl. You think Heisman Trophy winner and Hall of Famer like Roger Staubach is going to mess with non-regulation skittle bowl? Don't be a fool.
Perhaps you're wondering why you've never heard of skittle bowl, much less Olympic-size skittle bowl?
It's a sad chapter in Olympics history that not a lot of people know about. I won't go into detail (this is a comics blog, after all) but from the year 1969-1972, skittle bowl ruled the Olympics, until the widespread doping scandal that led to the suicide of Albania's gold medal skittle bowler and brought disgrace upon the sport. Now skittle bowl has been cast aside in favor of trampoline and the biathalon, aka Finnish drive-by shooting.
What, you think I'm making this up?
33 comments:
Aren't the kids supposed to defeat Roger by throwing Hostess Twinkies at him?
I have an Incredible Hulk comic from 1979 or 1980 which features an ad for Dingo boots. The pitchman: O.J. Simpson. He meets those same two kids who are cursed to wander endlessly, encountering celebrity hawkers, and shows off his boots. He says "Nothing comes in handy like Dingo boots when you're searching for the 'real killer!'" and winks mischeviously. Then, he signs some boots "O.J. Dingo." Luckily, the two kids escape with their lives, and go on to have a meaningful conversation with Rod Carew about paddleball.
The Dr. J/Rick Barry basketball ads, drawn by Jack Davis, still influence how I see basketball.
Dammit, why does nobody dunk quite like Cartoon Dr. J?
That ad was on the back of every Marvel comic published from 1977-1982, I swear.
Another unforgettable ad: the two-page Clark Bar spreads. Early merchandising in action, baby. Anybody got a scan of one of those ads? Anybody ever actually eat a Clark Bar? Did they taste like, um, Clark?
The best part of the "40 Years of (something) on DVD" products that have been coming out recently are those classic ads, especially the ones I remember from my childhood, like the Dr. J and full-spreak Clark Bar ads. I've seen a few of those Dingo Boots ads too, and my jaw just dropped.
Clark bars, by the way, are kind of a low-rent Butterfinger. Slightly less buttery, but the same concept -- chocolate over a crunchy substance that sheers off like sandstone when you bite it. I'm indifferent, but my father loves them.
Mike, please scan and post that Dingo boots ad!
- from another Dr J.
Man, this is some seriously weird shit. I don't remember seeing this ad in comicbooks anywhere, ever. Could it be that I blocked it from my mind, on a subconscious level? I'm giving this ad my Golden WTF award for 2005. Thanks for unveiling it, Dave!
Bill, wouldn't Fruit Pies be more appropriate in this instance?
Wasn't Roger Staubach also a huge proponent of Olympic size mumbly-peg? Which was played with scimitars I believe. Wait, maybe that was OJ too.
As it happens, Roger Staubach is right--I'm not from Texas, but I do indeed have an olympic size skittle bowl, which is taller than you, and which I frequently play with. I've never shown mine off to little boys, though.
I remember all those ads except for the Clark bar one. Were there superheroes or annoying kids in it?
I saw a parody of the Dingo Boots ad with new photoshopped dialogue in the speech balloons. The last speech ballon, with mischevous winking OJ read something like "And remember little girls, if you talk sh*t about a REAL man no amount of screamin's gonna save you. Sleep tight now!"
I remember that ad (vaguely). Anyone remember a game called "Pendulum Curve Bowl"? Got it for Christmas one year, had a lot of fun with it.
I saw a parody of the Dingo Boots ad with new photoshopped dialogue in the speech balloons.
That was one of Treacher's
I could go for an Olympic-size Skittlebrau right about now.
My favorite is the Daisy BB Gun ad where Dad helps set up a rifle range in the family room. As Bill's mom says: "Bill's dad and I are almost as tickled with indoor shooting as Bill is!"
And lest we forget:
"MONSTER size monsters"
"BOYS! MEN! My secret new Dynaflex method"
"Draw any person in ONE MINUTE!"
"POLARIS NUCLEAR SUB, Fires rockets and torpedoes"
"Amazing "X-RAY" vision instantly!"
"Turn your hands into "EXPLOSIVE" defense mechanism!"
"SECRET SPY CAMERA! PLUS: FREE! "How to sell your pics for money"
So did anyone ever order anything from the "Treasure chest of fun"?
Shut up, man! I played Skittle Ball as a kid!
Anyway, don't knock Skittlebrau 'till you try it.
Harvey beat me to it, but at least the Rick Barry/Dr. J. ad was drawn by Jack Davis. Don't want to hear anyone dissing Jack Davis.
skittle ball is the retards version of bowling. In case you can't roll a ball in one direction, the pins are RIGHT IN FRONT OF U! You can't lose the ball! it's attached to a string!
verif:
hetkqvb- the final word of OJ's wife, that glove fits fine
the only way that i would ever play is if there where skittles candy involved.
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A smart reproof is better than smooth deceit
It won't work in reality, that's exactly what I consider.
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It can't work as a matter of fact, that is what I consider.
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