Well, it has kind of a cool cover...
I thought I would wordlessly review Arion the Immortal #6 because I am lazy and because sometimes I come across a comic so hideous that words fail me. Here, then, is my review:
*
* This is international sign language for "this comic made me vomit."
28 comments:
Wow, check out Power Girl's head in the "action" sequence! Either she was starting to emulate Marge Simpson's hairstyle, or being groomed as the in-continuity version of Egghead....
It's way too busy with the headband *and* the useless little cape *and* the shoulder thingies, but this is one of Power Girl's costumes I've always sort of liked. Superhero costumes with white as the predominant (but not only) color are pretty rare, but look nice and unusual when used.
Wow. What in the HELL was THAT???
Dude, what is with Arion's HEAD?
Darn. And here based on the cover I thought Power Girl was going to do something Houdini-ish, like escape from a water tank while suspended upside down in mid-air and wrapped in chains.
OK, OK. Actually, I was just hoping for her power girls to fall out of the costume while suspended upside down in mid-air.
I am _such_ a loser.
Written by Paul Kupperburg, drawn by Ron Wilson, edited by Jim Owsley...and you're telling me it's NOT good?
How could it fail?
Come to think of it, maybe Power Girl's head is supposed to look weird here. Arion's head is pretty darn freakish looking, to the extent that it must have been intentional, and wasn't this the era where PG was supposed to be Arion's granddaughter or something?
Is she wearing a black push-up bra on the cover, or is that just a well-thrown batarang? I hope for the latter, but if the former all I can say is
FREE THE POWERGIRLS!
When was Arion in Kid 'n' Play?
That's a Randy DuBurke cover, isn't it? I always liked his weird, Mignola-crossed-with-Sienkiewicz style. I think he started at DC through one of their new talent showcase type books, but never did much in the comics field. He's illustrating children's books these days, like my main man John J. Muth.
And Priest edited this book? Holy shnikies!
BTW, the funniest graphic was the emergency eye wash. Perfect for a post bad comic eyeball infection.
Ugh...
That was probably the worst DC Mini ever. The only comic I ever put into a recycling bin. (It's even worse than X-terminators and Fallen Angels from Marvel.)
Hey, at least Fallen Angels had Devil Dinosaur. No comic with DD in it can be entirely bad.
Is anyone except the sweatiest basement-dwelling masturbatory anorak a Power Girl fan?
Aside from ironic fandom (I am including my distinguished colleagues here), does ANYONE ever say "Oh boy, Power Girl!" Has there EVER in 30 years been an interesting story where Power Girl was a key player? Can you imagine Alan Moore or Grant Morrison EVER taking an interest in developing Power Girl further*?
If you are going to be a Supergirl fan- can you at least like the real one, not the beta version**?
I hate Power Girl.
P.S. More of these unwritten reviews, I lost it at the end with the eyewash.
* You don't have to say it, I was thinking it as I typed.
** The best comic book character with huge, unrealistic bazooms is Big Barda, thank you.
*** I SHIT YOU NOT, the word verification code to post this was sbrJIZDD. JIZ DD!
That series was one of many reasons I quit collecting comics in the early nineties.
Thanks to books like that and all the garbage out of Marvel from that period, the decision to buy diapers for my infant son instead of comics for me was made all the easier.
I think you're missing a graphic, Dave. Where's "The Pain!" banner?
MY EYES! MAKE THE BURNING STOP!
I thought that joking about Power Girl's Power Girls in story was a recent phenomenon, a product of our ironic and postmodern age of comics. But there it is in 1992, a joke about the Girls. Fantastic.
Pre-Crisis Power Girl is way cooler than Pre-Crisis Supergirl who, let's face it, people mainly like because she died tragically and wore a short skirt. She's kind of the Princess Diana (of England, not Themiscyra) of the DCU. However, when Power Girl was kept around after the Crisis even though her whole context was gone just because she had big boobies that her character kind of jumped the shark and became a bunch of pointelss retcons attached to two enormous breasts. I've kind of enjoyed the recent JSA Classified story with her, which looks to be bringing back her old origin. Which I think is a great move, mainly because it means she'll never wear this costume again.
I had forgotten how truly bad it got after the Arion-connection retcon.
This is so much the editor's fault as much as the writer and Aparo. That is Aparo art isn't it?
Gah, don't insult the memory of Jim Aparo like that! Ron Wilson pencilled and Mike Gustovich inked....
I'm not sure who created this particular version of her costume, but I'm pretty sure Jim Aparo wasn't involved there, either.
My word verification was "hlgrl."
I'm not sure exactly who designed it, but that costume made its first appearance during Gerard Jones and Ron Randall's run on JLE, right after the Giffen era. At the time, PG had a real, complex personality and was quite well-written, IMO.
The sad thing is that 80% of DC's and about 90% of Marvel's output was like this back then.
Think I'm kidding, dont'cha?
Those three graphics at the end were comedy GOLD, I tell ya. Totally Airwolf.
I got "zqbyf". Doesn't mean a damn thing. Hmf.
Pre-chrisis Power Girl was a fun character. I'm with Adrian, she was much better than Supergirl. Even when she wasn't particularly well written, she was a more interesting character.
Remember, pre-chrisis Power Girl was THE Kryptonian on Earth 2. Superman was already semi-retired (in practice if not in fact). To use Scipio's dynastic centerpiece model, Power Girl had assumed the Dynastic Centerpiece of the Earth 2 kryptonians, with Superman as the Elder Statesman. Supergirl of Earth 1 was always the Junior counterpart of her Superman, and they were never able ever really make her an interesting solo character (as they were with Robin II as he became Nightwing).
You can make the same argument about Earth 2's Huntress, who didn't have her Batman to mentor her. (unfortunately, Earth 2 Robin never really matured into a separate character in his own right) When Supergirl or Batgirl were in stories, there was often the sense that they were getting the 'junior' version of Superman/Batman tales.
I bet you Moore or Morrison would have a lot of ideas of what to do with a series based on pre-chrisis Power Girl. Post chrisis, unfortunately, set her loose with no roots in the DCU, and left her a sadly uninteresting character.
I have yet to understand why Power Girl survived Crisis in the first place. I mean, if the plan was to retcon her origin into something non-Kryptionian, why not do that with Supergirl, the more iconic Kara? And if there was no plan, then why keep her at all? Her licensing value can't be too terribly important (definitely not that of Supergirl or Batgirl or even Ice, all characters DC killed around the same time). What's worse, IMO, is that PG's presence in the DCU sort of waters down Wonder Woman's prominence as the Superman-esque female ass-kicker extraordinaire (and though I have no proof of it, probably helped in the decision to revamp Donna Troy away from "Wonder" Girl). Thinking over the past 20 years, I'd even guess that PG has had wider exposure (*ahem*) across the DCU than WW (outside her own title, of course). Heck, I guess one could make a point that Power Girl waters down the prominence of ALL of DC's heavy hitters, from the Marvel Family to Superboy to Big Barda; after all, DC--unlike Marvel--only has a few superteams in need of super-strong flying cape people.
And why? The Power Girls? It's not like it was illegal for DC to put someone like Jim Balent on WONDER WOMAN for a little expansion.
And just to go off in the totally opposite direction, I'm surprised DC hasn't made more use of Arion post-Crisis. From what I can tell, he's used primarily in his "former ruler of what Aquaman now rules" role, but his ties could be much broader. For instance, Atlantis has a traditional real-world connection with Ancient Greece, so why not with Paradise Island, the gods, or even original Themyscira? Also, IIRC, Arion's time coincides with the height of Martian civilization. And isn't Arion still considered the source of most of DC's magic? He's like DC's version of the Inhumans, where history converges for most of the Marvel U.
Neither of which complaints is helped by the existence of ARION THE IMMORTAL.
I simply MUST have that costume...!
WHERE IS DAVE?
"Mpmzr" says Anti-spam!
The only time the pre-Crisis Supergirl was interesting was her college days in the early 70s, back when "Crazy Mike" Sekowsky was in charge (Supergirl & Adventure Comics). A new awful costume every issue, and Lex Luthor's never-before-mentioned neice Nasthalthia "Nasty" Luthor.
Something you, Dave, could easily devote a week to...
Best Crossover. EVER.
No need to fight, ladies!
O SNAP!
Yeah, you're nasty, all right...
I consider everyone must read this.
The chap is absolutely just, and there is no question.
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