Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Lame-ass villain #9 - MODAM
Let me state right off the bat that I am a huge fan of MODOK, which is the main reason I think MODAM is so damn lame.
MODOK, as you may know, is a kick-ass Marvel villain from back in the day who sprung like Athena from the fertile mind of comicdom's Zeus, Jack "King" Kirby. What is MODOK? A grotesque giant head with stubby arms and legs that scoots around in a little hover scooter. Sounds kick-ass, doesn't it? Created by the evil acronym loving scientists of AIM (Advanced Idea Mechanics), MODOK stood for Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing. He is one of the greatest super-villains ever, just because of the sheer audacity of his design and his inherent wackiness. I loves me the MODOK, and I know I'm not alone.
MODAM, on the other hand... Well, MODAM is the female version of MODOK that nobody asked for. It's MODOK with lipstick, razor sharp teeth, and presumably a high-pitched Miss Piggy voice. No breasts, thankfully. Nobody wants to see MODAM's boobies.
MODAM was just one too many trips to the well, if you ask me. Marvel should have left well enough alone and just stuck with the original. But no. Some Marvel writer (Mark Gruenwald maybe?) was hitting the Skull Bong pretty hard one night and came up with a female version of MODOK, and some lazy editor said, "Sure, whatever Mark." Thus MODAM was born both in the laboratories of AIM and in a cloud of sweet, sweet cannabis smoke.
Did you know that originally she/it was named Specialized Organism Designed for Aggressive Maneuvers, but then AIM realized that spelled out SODAM, which is perhaps a better name for a boy. So they renamed her MODAM (Mobile Organism Designed for Aggressive Maneuvers), which is a good name for a girl. Get it? Madam = MODAM? Clever little bastards, those AIM scientists.
Thankfully, I have only two comic books that feature MODAM, Captain America #387 and #388, parts one and two of "The Superia Stratagem," a storyline that is also known as "Utter Shit." The Superia Stratagem pits Captain America and the purple Paladin versus every lame female villain on a cruise ship. That's it. That's the story. Now you don't have to read it. You're welcome.
The one good part about the Superia Stratagem is that it features a fight between MODAM and Anaconda, who was Lame-ass villain #2 (back when I knew how to write short posts). Here are the two hideous harpies locked in mortal combat:
That is not attractive. Yet it's fascinating in a sick way because both Anaconda and MODAM embody the Freudian concepts of penis envy and vagina dentata. I mean, I'm sure that wasn't the intention, but that's how I read it.
Jeez, what is wrong with me?