Thursday, June 30, 2005
Lame-ass villain #8 - Karkas
OK, I have to come clean. I do not actually have the Eternals comic books that Karkas appears in. I just found him in the Official Handbook of The Marvel Universe, Deluxe Edition #6 (Human Torch to Ka-Zar) and thought he was mockable. And to be honest, he's not even a villain. With a name like Karkas and a mug like that, you'd think he would be a villain, but no.
Karkas, so I have learned, is a Deviant, "an evolutionary offspring of humanity which is cursed with an unstable genetic code" that often fight The Eternals. I wonder who named The Deviants? Probably The Eternals. I mean, nobody would name their entire race "deviants." It's just not good branding. That's like saying, "Hi, we're from a friendly race of spacefarers called The Annhilators. We come in peace." or, "Hello, we are peaceful humanoids known as Pervs. We seek shelter." I'd be hiring an image consultant if I were the Deviants.
Anyway, Karkas is a nice Deviant who is covered in thick elephantine hide, can bench press about 25 tons, and has strange "claw-like single jointed digits on each foot and hand." That's the part that caught my attention. How does he open a jar of pickles? Or a door? Perhaps The Deviants have some sort of ADA policies in place for folks like Karkas. There's a funny bit in his Handbook entry that addresses this:
Limitations: Karkas's lack of opposable thumbs prevents him from utilizing many ordinary tools.
Don't get me wrong, I think Karkas looks cool in a crazy comic-book way. He looks like one of those old Monsters on the Prowl creatures or something; it smells like a Kirby design to me. But the no-thumbs thing... Damn, couldn't they have set Karkas up with some thumbs?
As James Coburn would say: "That's just mean, man!"