Thursday, June 02, 2005
Lame-ass villain #6 - Vibro
Vibro first appeared in Iron Man #186, during writer Denny O'Neil's run on the book. That's right, Denny O'Neil - the guy who created Batman mega-villain Ra's al Ghul -- also invented Vibro, our sixth lame-ass villain. What can I say? Everybody has an off-day.
It strikes me that I haven't featured any lame-ass DC villains, of which there are many. Too many, really. The Fisherman? Deathwing? Calendar Man? It's like shooting kittens in a barrel. I mean fish. The thing about Marvel is that they always try so hard to be the cool comic book company - it just makes their lame villains so much lamer. Hence, my focus on Marvel goons.
Vibro was a guy named Professor Vibereaux (I shit you not) who invented an incredibly dangerous nuclear-powered vibrational-device. Vibereaux believed the device, which looked like a purple chair, would stop earthquakes if it was lowered into the San Andreas Fault with him in it - so he was clearly insane. Sure enough, Vibereaux gets winched down into some abysmal pit in his purple chair. Then - and I didn't see this coming - there's an earthquake. In the real world, Vibereaux would just be crushed to death and would make the Darwin Awards, but this is Iron Man; he gets turned into a monstrous, Toxic Avenger-looking supervillain named VIBRO! As you might imagine, Vibro can create powerful vibrations. If it was me, and I'm not trying to be crude here, I'd go gigolo with that shit.
Apparently the subtext of Vibro wasn't lost on artist Luke McDonnell, who drew the book and did the cover. I might be reading too much symbolism into the cover, but...
Vibro. I don't know, make up your own jokes.