Saturday, April 16, 2005
Lame-ass villain #3 - Man-Elephant
The Man-Elephant is one of those characters that is so lame you just cannot believe somebody came up with them - until you realize that said character appears in a book called The Savage She-Hulk. Puts it in perspective, doesn't it?
First appearing in 1981 in The Savage She-Hulk #17, the Man-Elephant was Manfred Haller, an inventor and hydraulic inventor who created a suit of rubberized power armor that used advanced hydraulics to increase the wearer's strength.* Here's where they lose me: Haller designs the suit to look like an elephant, complete with tusks and a grappling trunk.
What the fuck...? Why would you do that? That's like GM designing a new SUV and deciding, "You know what? We should go one step further and spend a ton of money to decorate this vehicle like a big rhino!"
To prove the suit's power, Man-Elephant takes on She-Hulk and beats her up for a while before having a change of heart. You see, Haller realizes his elephant suit could be used for evil. Or at the very least cheapened by tractor-pull demonstrations at county fairs.
I would be embarassed if I was a hero and I got my ass handed to me by Man-Elephant. You should probably just hang up the spandex at that point. But, She-Hulk is resilient, so she soldiers on. You'd have to be a trooper, really, if you were a woman that everyone called "She-Hulk." From where I come from, that's a rude thing to say to a lady.
*My thanks to The Appendix to the Handbook of the Marvel Universe for actually having a Man-Elephant entry. God bless the people that took the time to put that together.
Posted by David Campbell at 8:46 AM
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Is it wrong that I find that picture arousing?
You know if Bendis got his hands on Man-Elephant, he'd turn him into a child rapist who gets his jollies by rubbing jell-o all over his body. And then Captain America would kill him.
You know, I might actually read that...
It puts the lotion on the skin, or else it gets the elephant's trunk again.
It's a clunky sort of a name, what's wrong with plain old Elephant-ma...
In this issue Shulk fights Man-Elephant.
The fact that someone created a She-Hulk is good, but her villains
ALWAYS SUCKED. You could fill this category of Lame-Asses with them all.
Word-I guy that can control people by talking vigorously into a mic
Ultima- Word's steroid addicted daughter.
Grappler- Uses super-crowbar to use super-leverage (Scourge victim)
Any Scourge victim could be lame-ass
because they all were
"the sound a Man-Elephant makes after just existing too long.
I'm going to go out on a limb here, and guess that Manfred Haller's favorite childhood character was Babar. Just a hunch.
I also bet that She-Hulk invited Man-Elephant back to the She-House after the battle. I mean, look at the size of that trunk.
Given that the movie The Elephant Man came out in October of 1980, I'm going to guess that "Man-Elephant" was some smartass writer's attempt at a topical play on words. If so, it wasn't a joke that aged well.
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