Wednesday, March 29, 2006

The Dave’s Long Box First Anniversary Spectacular!

Hey, right on, I’m glad you could make it.

Come on in. You can throw your coat on the bed in there if you like. Hey, look at you! Somebody’s been working out. You look good; very together, very 2006. You’ve kind of got a Tony Robbins thing going on. I like that sweater.

Listen, get yourself some chicken wings and a drink in the kitchen – try the rum punch, it’s killer. I have to start this thing.


Welcome to The Dave’s Long Box 1st Anniversary Spectacular, wherein we take a wacky walk together down memory lane… and I’m holding your hand the entire time and breathing heavily.

I know, it’s a little creepy. I’m not saying it won’t be uncomfortable, but join me on this psychedelic journey into narcissistic nostalgia, won’t you?

Dave’s Long Box launched a year ago today with a few modest, awkwardly written posts, evolving into the arrogant, awkwardly written blog you see before you. Prior to March 2005 I had just been lurking in the comics blogosphere, phantom-like, always reading and never participating, interacting. I felt like Patrick Swayze in Ghost. I had been working on a fiction blog called The Velvet Marauder“It’s like Bridget Jones’ Diary, but with a super-powered vigilante” – but had yet to wade into the big scary world of blogging for reals.


But wade I did, and I kind of liked it. It was good writing exercise, and it was fun. People seemed to be digging my shit, which always helps. Then I got mentioned in Newsweek magazine and BAM! I had to kick it up a notch, Emeril-style, baby! Or something, I don’t know.

I was inspired by two of my favorite blogs: Graeme MacMillan’s late Fanboy Rampage and Neilalien, which happily is still going strong. I appreciated the sheer amount of content and the “audience participation” in Fanboy Rampage, and the fact that Neilalien’s site had a unique theme and focus: all things Dr. Strange. Dave’s Long Box is nothing like either blog, but I like to think that I have adopted lessons learned from both. I knew that I wanted my blog to have a theme (I review my old comics, you laugh and cry), to encourage reader input and discussion, and that it would be updated regularly.

The other overriding theme or mission or whatever of Dave’s Long Box is that I wanted to set a certain tone of civility and accountability. I decided I would put my full name out there and that I would at least make an effort to be respectful of my readers and of the people who make the comic books that I love and/or hate. I even wrote a little mission statement – more of a memo, really - On Being Mean, which outlines my blogging philosophy. I have violated the principles outlined in that post several times, so I just go back and edit the original mission statement so I don’t look like a complete asshole.

Kidding.

Starting out, one of the things I decided I would do was have theme weeks and recurring features to help give Dave’s Long Box some sense of structure and identity. I started off with No Profanity Week, which was sponsored by wrestling superstar Ric Flair.

That seemed to go over well, so I kept going. Boob War Week was a big hit and still pulls in the Google traffic to this day. Everybody likes boobs, apparently. Who knew? I was kind of fond of Kobra Week myself, which focused on the DC super-villain Kobra and how damn cool he is.

The most popular theme week seemed to be the F*@% Yeah Files, which explore some of the most kick-ass, moving, and flat-out awesome scenes in comic book history – stuff that is so cool it literally compels you to exclaim, “FUCK YEAH!” You know, like when Flash rescues the flight attendant who gets sucked out of an airliner at 10,000 feet.

The F*@% Yeah Files even spawned a movie version. I veered off course for a week and explored some of my favorite F*@% Yeah moments in film. “Khaaaan!”

Some posts are more popular than others. I kind of figured that my post Everybody Loves Power Girl would go over well – I believe I modestly referred to it beforehand as “the best post you have ever read on any blog – ever!” This look at the phenomenon of Power Girl’s breasts pulled in a lot of hits, and to this day is probably my most frequently visited post. I attribute its popularity more to masturbating geeks on Google than to quality writing - as of now I am the #1 search result on Google for “power girl boobs.” I can live with that.

Another popular post was Airwolf: The Adjective. I can’t remember who and I’m too lazy too search for it, but a DLB reader mentioned the concept of the word “Airwolf” as a universally positive adjective, and I just ran with it. I’ve been credited elsewhere for the Airwolf idea, but I didn’t think it up – that distinction goes to the very funny Ernie Cline, who did a spoken-word piece called “Airwolf” back in 2000. I’m just happy to do my part in helping to seed the pop cultural landscape with Airwolf: The Adjective.


It’s funny the shit that brings in traffic.
Second to Power Girl and Airwolf, I probably got the most hits for this picture of a spunky little cat with a “can-do” attitude:

People love cats; go figure.

I have some personal favorite posts, of course, as well as posts that just make me wince and tempt me to delete them. Nobody would notice if I just got rid of that horrible piece about Hawkman, would they?

One of my favorite and/or most enjoyable posts was a two-part dissection of Thor #499, a comic so horrible that one post could not contain its suckitude. This comic is a classic and hilarious example of poor quality control and mis-communication between writer and artist, and spotlights the phenomenon known as “the de-nudifying effect” or “editorial swimwear,” when racy art is clumsily covered up by the editors.

I was also fond of the post Workforce Management the Kobra Way, which explores Kobra’s techniques for effectively leading an army of henchmen. It involves lots of strangling.

A personal favorite of mine is the S.H.I.E.L.D. Career Power Seminar, which was an honest-to-God real presentation I did at work on Halloween.

S.H.I.E.L.D. Career Power was basically a recruiting pitch for potential S.H.I.E.L.D. agents conducted by Col. Nick Fury (me), complete with PowerPoint slides. I worked very hard on the whole thing and it went over really well with my co-workers, even if most people thought I was supposed to be Snake Plissken. The shit I have to put up with...

Another post that I think turned out OK was Street Fighter: The Musical, a take-down of the wretched comic book adaptation of the equally wretched Street Fighter movie. The post has the lines, “This comic book is so awful that writing (...) about it merely prolongs its existence... Talking about it is like watering an ugly, ugly flower” and “… so bad that I want to burn it, but I’m afraid that the toxic smoke from the fire will ruin a sunset or poison something beautiful, like a butterfly.” Man, I crack myself up.

I may be funny infrequently, but I am often DEAD WRONG.

I have made more than my share of mistakes over the past year. If there’s one thing I’ve learned while writing about comic books, it’s that you have to get your shit straight or somebody is going to call you on it. There’s always some wise-ass out there who will let me know if I spelled Neal Adams’ name wrong, or that I totally got the name of Mantra’s alter-ego wrong. Usually I just silently fix the mistake so the wise-ass looks like an idiot complaining about errors that don’t exist, but sometimes I screw up in such a profound way that it can’t be concealed.

Take this entry about Karkas in my recurring feature, Lame-ass Villains.

I built the entire post around the fact that Karkas has no opposable thumbs. He doesn’t, really! Look it up if you don’t believe me! Be that as it may, the humor of the whole piece is sort of undermined by the picture of Karkas with an opposable thumb.

That’s the Ol’ Dave Campbell Eye for Detail in action right there.

Another cock-up was my review for Alpha Flight #121, in which I incorrectly said that artist Craig Brasfield was responsible for this blatant swipe of some John Byrne art. I learned that it was the book’s editor who slapped the Byrne art into the comic, not Brasfield, so I had to go back and set the record straight. My bad.


OK, I shouldn’t have had that last gin and tonic. Daddy’s starting to get a headache, kids, so I better wrap this up. Did you like the chicken wings?

I want to thank everybody who has visited Dave’s Long Box over the past year, and in particular everyone who took the time to comment or send me an email shout-out. I really appreciate everyone’s support and hope that we can all continue to hang out together over the next 365 days.

A big what-up goes out to my fellow comic bloggers as well – there are a lot of people blogging out there who are doing really great work; funny, thoughtful, inspiring, challenging writing that helps Move Comics Forward. Except for that one asshole.*

Not to get all corny and shit, but I’m proud to be even indirectly associated with a lot of the fine folks out there behind their keyboards. I tip my proverbial 40-ouncer in your honor.

So, onwards and upwards! Let’s join hands once again in a non-sexual way and march together into a Golden Future of Online Comic Book Commentary.

As my man Casey Kasem says, “Keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars!”



*Kidding.

93 comments:

Anonymous said...

Happy anniversary Dave. Thanks for an always entertaining blog!

Bully said...

Dave, one day I hope to grow up and be a little stuffed version that's half as entertaining as you. Happy anniversary, dude.

Jay said...

Congrats man. I check you out everyday.

Anonymous said...

Wow, that was, like, the best clip-show ever! Way better than the ones on Family Ties!

Happy anniversary, Dave! In a cruel, uncaring world, your blog is a beacon of hope. Boobs, too.
Thank you for the constant funny!

Anonymous said...

Great party, Dave!

I think I may have had a bit too much of the "FUNNY" tho...

(substitute the word "FUNNY" for "CHEAP ROTGUT HOOTCH")

I had a GREAT time!!
But I think I may have tossed up some "FUNNY" all over your carpet.
Of course, that was AFTER I shot "FUNNY" out of my nose after reading the Alpha Flight post.

That shit cracked me up something FIERCE!

Oh! By the way... with all the links, I had to go and read (or re-read) some of them and after awhile I couldn't hold in the "FUNNY" anymore. I thought your closet was the bathroom and before I realized it, I let out a glorious golden stream of recycled "FUNNY" all over the shoes in the corner.

I apologize.
I can normally hold my "FUNNY", but I hadn't had any chicken wings, since I'm seriously trying the vegetarian thing.

Send me the bill. I'll take care of it.

Happy Anniversary, man!

;-)

~P~
P-TOR

Anonymous said...

I love the "ugly flower" line so much, it's one of the random quotes on my site. Your blog rules!

Anonymous said...

Happy Anniversary, Dave! May your next year be as successful as your first!

I personally can't wait for Boob Wars II and more of your Daredevil posts (having just reread most of the Miller run).

Jamie

Anonymous said...

Happy Anniversary Dave. The chicken wings are great! Did you make them yourself, or did you buy them somewhere?

Say, you're still going to do a Mike Parobeck week, aren't you?

Anonymous said...

Happy anniversary. Keep up the great work, possibly with some reviews of Micheline/Layton Iron Man "greatness" from the late 70s/early 80s?

Anonymous said...

We, the Internet are lucky to have your blog here.

Shon Richards said...

Thank you Dave for making me smile every week. You make comics fun.

Chris said...

Dave, your blog is responsible for my workgroup's total lack of productivity for the first hour of the day; not only are you our first stop, but you're like the Gateway drug into the rest of the comicsblogoweb! Nice work!

Thanks for inspiring others (myself included) to blog as well. And thanks for inviting us to the shindig!

::whispers:: Although I don't wanna make a scene, I saw Kelvingreen totally looking through your medicine cabinet after using the bathroom. Just thought you should know.

Now where's the designated driver?

ShellyS said...

Congrats on the anniversary! I haven't been reading the Long Box nearly that long, but I've been enjoying it.

Mark W. Hale said...

Good goin', Dave. Good goin'.

Salo said...

Happy birthday, you great blog, you!

gorjus said...

EVERYBODY LOVES DAVE!! This is one of my favorite sites. BRING BACK THE VELVET MARAUDER!!

Bigseek said...

DLB is consistently one of the best blogs on the planet. You do a tremendous job.
Thank you.

Kitty said...

Happy anniversary, Dave! This is one of my all-time favorite blogs - keep on Airwolfin'!

Anonymous said...

Dave, just wanted to add my voice to all the other congratulatory ones. You write one of my favorite blogs ever.

We're coming up on our 3 year anniversarry next week over at the Ferret Press group blog. And I have to say that a lot of the cool "themed" content you did inspired me to kick it up a notch on our blog. Keep up the great work!

PS. What's the status of your Templar comic project?

Anonymous said...

I love the DLB! This blog inspired me to buy my first comic book (Grant Morrison's All-Star Superman #1) a month ago. Then I bought #2 and am anxiously awaiting #3. I now have my very own expensive addiction. Thanks, Dave!!

Anonymous said...

Wyatt, I love you. Game over, man. Game over.

Wait, this isn't the Society of Bill Paxton Re-enactors webpage. Or is it?

In any event, happy anniversary, Martha. You've given me forty delightful years of pie and good-natured nagging about the moles on my back. And I'd do it all again.

Darren said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Darren said...

Dave - congratulations on year one! :) What have we got to look forward to in year two?

Anonymous said...

I have the "I'm the Goddamn Batman" pic from your site, colored by my son and I, pinned up in my work cube. Thanks for all the great work, and I can't believe it's only been a year for you! Here's hoping you keep at this until it's legal...

Mark Fossen said...

Happy WeboComicsBlogoversary, Dave!

I feel I can speak for Ric Flair when I say:

"WOOOO!!!!! WOOOO, Dave, WOOOO!!!!!"

Kristin said...

The first year is the paper anniversary. Maybe someone will give you some comic books.

Greg said...

Keep up the good work. We love you, even though we burn with envy for your mad skillz!

Kevin Church said...

The FIrst Annual Dave Campbell Roast will be hosted on my blog later this week.

I may or may not be kidding about this.

Anonymous said...

Being anonymous, I feel it is entirely my place to congratulate you on a geat year. Long may the funny continue.

Memories to share: not only did the Skurge scene make me cry when I first read it in the comic (well, tears welled up a bit even if they didn't actually fall), but so did your post on it.

Both times!

Fanks.

RuggerVT said...

I came for Power Girls' Power Girls, I stayed for the chicken wings.

Wait...that doesn't sound right...

Grats on a year well-done! Blogger says Dumsroff!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, Dave's Blog!

I can just agree with my co-congratulants: You are a very funny man, and your blog's my favourite!

Keep them coming!

Dweeze said...

Happy Anniversary!

dwinn said...

You're the man now, dog.

Anonymous said...

Happy anniversary, Dave, your blog is the second page I check every time I open the browser.

I wish I could enslave you and make you post every 10 minutes. But life isn't always fair, right?

Thanks, good luck and keep the good job!

808 said...

Happy Anniversary, Dave! I check your blog daily and it always cracks my shit up.

If you ever do a request week, I'd love to see you review some old Power Pack issue.

Thanks for the laughter and tears!

BigSleep666 said...

Happy anniversary, Dave!

Coincidentally, today is Ernie Cline's birthday.
Happy birthday, Ernie Cline!

You are both Airwolf!

smokedog said...

Happy one year, Dave. Your trip down memory lane brought a tear to my eye.

Keep fighting the good fight - no one brings the funny like you do!

Marc Burkhardt said...

Happy anniversary. Your blog was one of the sites that inspired me to open the doors at the Fortress, along with the Absorbascon and Dial B For Blog.

Not that my efforts are as good as any of you, but you get what I mean...

Edward Liu said...

Happy anniversary, Dave, and many more! If nothing else, DLB has greatly expanded my vocabulary with phrases like "grabs my shit," "Airwolf," and "F*@% YEAH." Also serves as the exception to the rule that Internet blogs filled with four-letter words are usually a waste of time.

Anonymous said...

Strong work Dave. Always worth a laugh, and sometimes a tear...

Anonymous said...

Dave, found your blog as a link for the SHIELD career power seminar. As Simon would say, "Loved It". Thanks so much for bringing some comic-based entertainment to the internet. I wish you'd find some F* Yeah SHIELD moments for a post. Nick Fury is my favorite comic character.

From a fellow Washingtonian (Eastern WA, that is).

Kevin

Anonymous said...

You had me at "boobies."

Stolat! Looking forward to another year of bad comics made good.

call me jack... said...

congrats Dave! fyi, I've used some of your panel/cover edits as backgrounds on my computer. that's how much I love this blog.

Devon Sanders said...

Every day is "Boob War" with you around, Dave!

Happy anniversary!

Steven Hardina said...

Thanks for being totally fuckin' Airwolf for a year straight now, Dave. Happy anniversary!

Anonymous said...

Happy Anniversary Dave - first stop in the morning at work, last stop before I leave my desk.

I expect to keep this up until I retire, so - here's to the next 32 anniversaries!

Doctor Sordid said...

Keep up the great work, Senor Campbell. You put the rest of the comigblogsphere to shame on a weekly basis...

Anonymous said...

Great anniversary post. The pressure is now on for your second anniversary post to be twice as good.

I found this blog while searching for information on SuperPro, oddly enough, and I've been coming here regularly ever since. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

Put me down for another "whacko, jolly well done Dave". I came here via "Dial B for Blog" and immediately added the Long Box to a short list of bookmarked blogs.

Carry on!

Ian said...

Congrats Dave. You should be very proud of yourself.

Nik said...

Happy blogoversary, and for giving me one of my must-read blog stops every day!



Every... stinking ... day.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the memories Dave. I love reading your blog.

Woody! said...

Because the other 57 people didn't say this: congrats and keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

And, I, sir, tip my ACTUAL 40 oz-er in your direction! Happy anniversary and BRING ON THE REVIEWS OF DEATHLOK, BIYATCH!!!!

Anonymous said...

Happy Anniversary Dave. You rock my socks with your awesome posts. Fool it now and forever!!

uhwbbh:too much rum punch at the DLB party.

Reno said...

Wha---??!?! I thought this post was supposed to be SPECTACULAR??!?! It's just a cheap flashback sequence!!!

But seriously, I love this blog. I visit it everyday since I discovered it late last year.

Dave's Long Box is totally AIRWOLF. F*@% YEAH!

Sleestak said...

So many swears. And breasts.

Rock on, man.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I'm really late to the party. Who drank all the booze?

Oh, that's not why I'm here. I'm here to wish Dave a happy anniversary!

OK, OK I'll make the keg run. Be right back!

Jim said...

I haven't been here for the full year, but I've enjoyed it since I got here. Happy Anniversary, Dave.

Anonymous said...

yay for Dave Campbell and his Long Box (which I'm bettin' is a euphemism)!

Chris Sims said...

And yet another post to congratulate. Happy Awesomeversary, Campbell!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations. Sure wish I had something funny to say.

Anonymous said...

That was fudgewolf!

Anonymous said...

I don't have time to read blogs, but I make time for Dave's Long Box. Awesome and keep up the good work. Thanks,
afeldspar

Anonymous said...

bravo, dave!

Winterteeth said...

Yo, Dave. I haven't written in awhile but I sure as hell have been reading. You keep getting funnier. I really enjoyed the sleep deprived blog around the time your kid popped out. I tip my hat to you, sir. Here's to 150 more posts.

Anonymous said...

Your blog is totally Airwolf!

Anonymous said...

Dave, congrats on the anniversary. I love your site, and can't believe it's only been around a year. I feel like I've known it my whole life!

Thanks for the good times!

Anonymous said...

Dave, your Long Box and the Absorbascon share (almost) the exact-same birthday. I consider those few days in late March to be to the comics blogosphere what 1986 was to comic books.

I was watching the Justice League DVDs recently (OK, I bought them), and every time there's a F@#$ Yeah! moment, well, I gotta tell it to the world. Or at least my apartment.

I'm happy to patronize a certain gianormous Seattle-based corporation every day, knowing that a teeny-tiny percent of that grandé soy chai goes to Dave and the Long Box family.

Mazeltov!

Walaka said...

Cripes, Dave, this place is a mess! What's with all the little chicken bones on the floor? And why are your shoes all wet?

What? A party? First anniversary?

Sorry I missed it, dude, but I just got back from Maui. Looks like it was way airwolf.

Seriously, thanks for a great blog.

Anonymous said...

Congrats Dave!
The Long Box is always awesome, cheers for all the damn, damn good reads, laughs and unexpected teary-eyed moments...your post about the death of Skurge completely rocked, mate, one of the best commetaries about a comic I've read on these here internets.

Take it easy!

NiolK said...

Happy anniversary Snake.

Tycho B. said...

Congratulations Dave!!!

Your blog kept me sane for the last two months of my previous job. All the people I would have gunned down from the rooftop thank you.

Anonymous said...

As the today childrens always are saying, "You a man, dog!" I do not understand what they is meaning with the words.

joncormier said...

So, where's all the powerboobs I just googled?

Thanks for the fun Dave. It's great having a unique voice out in the ether that doesn't simply put up scans of old comics that imply characters are homosexual.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, Dave.

Somber, somber congratulations.


That'll do, pig. That'll do.



I stole three things from your medicine cabinet.

Anonymous said...

I've been reading this here thing for, oh, a couple of months, now. And I swear, it makes me jealous. Abso-friggin-jealous that you got there before me. Dave, I only hope the fun you have writing this is half as Airwolf as the fun we have reading it.

A request... How 'bout some All-Star Squadron reviews?

Word verification: faqksip (v.) 1. To neglect to read a forum's Frequently-Asked Questions thread before posting with a typo. 2. To sip a hot, steaming cup of faqk, a Turkish narcotic beverage made from distilled mungbean syrup.

Anonymous said...

David Campbell makes you want to blog. Thanks for making me wish I had my longboxes. Happy Anniversary, dude.

Todd

David Campbell said...

Kaneko! When did you get out of the slammer, man?

Anonymous said...

Well done good sir! Here's to another spectacular year! I pledged long ago and renew that pledge tonight:

I GO WHERE THE LONG BOX GOES!

val word: oeewafy - The sound that Anonymous made when he puked in Dave's punch bowl.

Chance said...

Congratulations, Mr. Funny Guy.

David O said...

For all those Power Girl panels, you earned my undying love. Kiss me, you fool.

Anonymous said...

I forgot to add above:
The only thing that would have made this anniversary special better would be if it had been done as a Powerpoint presentation, so I could use the "Your Powerpoint presentation was Airwolf!" greeting card.

Oh, well, there's always next year.

word verification: "Aieia!". The sound made by one of Lord Naga's lackeys on being disciplined for improper use of Kobra technology (reading blogs while on the job, tsk tsk)

zailo said...

Wow! Is the party over so soon? I was outside talking to this guy about chupacabras. I don't think he should be driving. Congratulation on the anniversary. Congratulations indeed.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, sir, for running a truly funny and informative website. Thanks to your ingenuity, I had something else to read religiously after Fanboy Rampage and then had enough gumption to start my own site.

I look up to you. I only hope that you are very tall.

Adam Reck said...

Happy Anniversary Dave!

Anonymous said...

Please: never stop the blogging.

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Nice post! Thanks for sharing!

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