Friday, February 03, 2006

THE F*@% YEAH FILES (Movie Version) #6


Megaforce (1982)

I should just make this a one-word post, because nothing evokes macho, high-tech, balls-to-the-fucking-walls, this one goes to eleven, incredible action like that one word:

Megaforce!

If you have seen Megaforce, you know that the entire film is one huge F*@$ Yeah.
If I had the lung power of Luciano Pavoratti, I would take a deep breath at minute one of Megaforce and bust out with one giant, sustained F*@% Yeah that would last until the end credits roll. Sure, I wouldn’t be able to hear any of the dialogue or the incredible soundtrack, but that’s OK, because I have memorized the entire film. Every glorious second of Megaforce is burned into my cranium, robbing me of the ability to perform complex math equations – which is a small price to pay for turning my brain into a total recall Megaforce computer.

To those who hate freedom and have not seen Megaforce, allow me to quickly summarize: Megaforce is an action-packed adventure about “a phantom army of super-elite fighting men whose weapons are the most powerful science can devise," all of whom wear silver jumpsuits and go into battle on missile-launching super-bikes and laser-wielding dune buggies. Tell me that doesn't sound awesome.
Directed by former stuntman Hal Needham, who brought us Stroker Ace, Megaforce stars Barry Fucking Bostwick, Persis "Lt. Ilia" Khambatta, the guy who played Knight Rider’s boss, and veteran movie bad guy Henry Silva. It was filmed with Introvision and the parachute and flying sequences were done using the Zoptic Special Effects System.

That is all you need to know.
I am shocked – shocked, I say - that this movie was not a huge hit and that Bostwick’s Ace Hunter did not assume his rightful place in the pantheon of American pop-cultural heroes, right next to Indiana Jones and Jack Tripper from Three’s Company. I guess in 1982 the world wasn’t ready for Ace Hunter’s blow-dried hair, or his pastel headband, or his skin-tight metallic jumpsuit, or his devil-may-care swashbuckliness. It’s a shame, and I think the world is a little poorer because we didn’t ever see Megaforce II: Deeds Not Words.

But I love you, Ace Hunter.

You know what I love best about him? The kiss/thumbs-up move. At several key points during the film, Ace Hunter and his woman Major Zara exchange their own little salute, sort of like the deaf guy in the elevator in Jerry Maguire who signs “you complete me” to his girlfriend. Ace kisses his thumb, and then gives Zara a tender thumbs-up. It’s romantic and macho all at the same time.
------
"...the entire film is one huge F*@% Yeah. "
------

For some reason, my wife refuses to do the kiss/thumbs-up with me, which is a source of unending disappointment for me. And I’ve made her watch Megaforce, too, so I know she gets it. Unless she’s been lying to me all this time and actually doesn’t think Megaforce is a good movie…

OK, let’s get to the F*@% Yeah scene in the film.

At the end of the movie, Megaforce must bust through a mercenary tank corps led by Guerrera (Silva) so that they can reach Dry Lake, where their transport planes can pick them up. Why don’t they have helicopters? Because helicopters are for pussies.

Anyway, Ace Hunter’s elite force rips through the tanks with their laser dune buggies and rocket-cycles and make it to Dry Lake, where they cover their retreat by emitting multi-colored smoke streamers from their vehicles. Radical!
During the battle, Ace jumps over a bad guy tank and drops The World’s Most Powerful Hand Grenade into the open turret hatch, totally destroying the tank. Wait, that’s not the F*@% Yeah part. Well, it is, but there’s more.

Ace takes the time to climb up on Guerrera’s tank, knock on the hatch, and with a rakish grin, tell him, “I just wanted to say good-bye and remind you that the good guys always win. Even in the 80's.” Is this the F*@% Yeah part? Again, yes – but it is eclipsed by the following scene:

The Megaforce transport planes have to take off and Ace has been left behind! Guerrera’s armored force is hot on Ace’s tail as he roars across the open desert on his megacycle. How will he escape? Is this the end of Ace Hunter?

Fuck no, it isn’t!

Ace hits a button, deploying small wings on the side of his bike – and he takes off into the sky!

Suck on that Galactica 1980!
Ace and his incredible flying motorcycle catch up with the Megaforce transport plane and drive/fly through the open rear hatch as his men cheer him on! It’s one of the most triumphant scenes ever filmed with unparalleled blue screen special effects. Introvision, indeed!
Megaforce: so kick-ass that it deserves its very own Ace Hunter F**% Yeah image.
P.S. I stole the above Megaforce images from Jabootu's Bad Movie Dimension as well as Badmovies.org, which has Megaforce audio files and the official Megaforce theme song. Both sites have more information and mockery of Megaforce and are highly recommended and I hope they don't kill me for stealing their pictures.

43 comments:

Ken S. said...

Any of you guys know how to Madison?

Anonymous said...

I do The Rock myself.

YAY! I'm a Rocky Horror Geek!

zailo said...

You should have also swiped one of the ads for Megaforce that ran on the back cover of comics in the 80's. That too is burned into my mind so that when I close my eyes I see it.
Radical indeed!

David Campbell said...

It is done, Zailo - just added it. Good call.

philip said...

Clearly, I am not man enough for Megaforce. Maybe if I added little wings to my Vespa. . .

But my cheek still burns from the tender thumbs-up kiss of Barry F. Bostwick.

John E Williams said...

God, I'm such a dillweed. I remember that ad from comic books and I always assumed it was a picture of friggin' Chuck Norris. ("Deeds Not Words" seemed like the perfect slogan for the guy.) I still thought it was him, going into your entry thinking this was another Chuck day and all ready to pounce on your commie ass for getting yet another classic Hollywood detail wrong ("Barry Bostiwck?!? Ha ha, Dave you dumbass..."). Today, the dumbass is me.

SanctumSanctorumComix said...

Yes...but do you OWN a MEGAFORCE Membership kit?

It was ONLY a BUCK!

Go on Dave...ebay....eeebay...

...succumb to the dark side...
;-)

SanctumSanctorumComix said...

Here you go...
it's not the membership kit (I tried to find it for ya buddy)

But here is a one-sheet movie poster.
Only 99cents as of this moment.

http://cgi.ebay.com/MEGA-FORCE-FOX-1982-ONE-SHEET-MOVIE-POSTER_W0QQitemZ7587286311QQcategoryZ60333QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

Derek said...

F*@%! YEAH!

sterg said...

I remember the movie but especially the toys, little cars with guns on them that ruled all of the inferior Matchbox and HotWheels!
They were totally Airwolf to my 5 year old self.
Deeds not words!

Airwolf said...

Why don’t they have helicopters? Because helicopters are for pussies.

Airwolf is not pleased.

Anonymous said...

Ah, but Airwolf is no mere helicopter. Suck it up, Airwolf; I don't get mad when people make fun of monkeys.

L.

zailo said...

I remember seeing some sort of behind the scenes interview thing (years before this was de rigeur for bonus material for dvd releases) on cable for Megaforce. Barry Bostwick was talking about how they had these desert vehicles with mounted weapons for the movie. And somehow the Pentagon got wind of it and was "Where did you get these plans?". Bostwick the whole time has this sly ,"this is the way desert warfare will be fought in the future and we have it in our movie first" attitude.
And he was right!

Chris said...

I dearly love Megaforce. I distinctly remember seeing it at least 3 times in the theater.

"You love 'em in blue/You love 'em in red/But most of all/You love 'em in blue."

God Bless the poetry of Ace Hunter.

Nik said...

God, I remember those ads but I never never that was Barry Bostwick. "Spin City" is forever ruined for me.

Word verification of the day: opserfk, which are extinct in Asia.

Chuck T. said...

I saw Megaforce in 1982, and I'm still wondering what the hell that Darth Vader-looking button box on his chest is for. That question has killed/maimed/noogied more of my brain cells than booze, nitrous oxide, and Dark Knight Returns combined.
Thanks for the relapse, Dave.

Reno said...

I saw the ad on the comic books during the 80s, and was waiting for it to be shown in theatres. Sadly, the movie didn't make it here in the Philippines.

I guess I won't know if I was man enough for Megaforce.

Dan Coyle said...

This... this is BEAUTIFUL.

Star Trek: Nemesis- anyone remember The Argo? What the hell was that? That was MEGAFORCE, baby!

"ssxqwpbew"- which is EXACTLY what I did after seeing Nemesis!

Sleestak said...

I remember the headlines for the review in the San Diego paper...

"MEGA-FORCE is MEGA-TERRIBLE!"

It really was.

Anonymous said...

"Airwolf is not pleased."

Ah, but Airwolf is for kicking ass, not for running away.

philip said...

I am not a scientist, nor am I an Introvision expert, but in that first screen-grab of Dave's post, I'm pretty sure that the laser-beam from the guy's moto/dune/death buggy in the background, is passing on the down-side of the shoulder of the guy in the foreground. Maybe it's some dystopian physics that I will never understand. Am I even seeing it right? Is this really what I'm doing at 10:00 on a Friday night?

philip said...

Nevermind, the gun is mounted on the back of the ride in the foreground, not the side of the motorcycle in the background. Apologies for the spastic posting.

Tim Easy said...

I always wanted to see a Megaforce spoof called "Ghettoforce". That would be some funny shite.

Adam Reck said...

At this rate, the only inevitable conclusion is a debate over the cinematic merit of Sean Connery in Zardoz.

Anonymous said...

Can't help but look forward to the f*@% yeah files movie version cross over with the comics version with Leone's 'the good, the bad and the ugly' and that Hitman annual by Ennis which is all about the f*@% yeah of the film and is f8@% yeah of itself too.

Konstantinos Stamoulis said...

Dave, I'd like to introduce and suggest a new feature for your blog, the "Sweet Jesus, NO!" feature (TM) which is when something really horrible and/or painful happens to one of the heroes.

Examples:
several to be found in "From Hell",
Mister Miracle #3 (from Grant Morrison's 7SoV)


A note: In my opinion, the Invisible Man's demise in tLoEG v2 #5 falls under the "F*@% YEAH" category.

Blessed Irish Bastard said...

Dave..You know who is 2nd in F%*& Yeah moments(First is Clint)??Bruce fuckin Campbell (um family? :D)
"Come to papa..."
And the one...the only...
Good... Bad... I'm the guy with the gun."

MuthaF*&% Yeah Baby!

zack soto said...

I saw megaforce in the theatres, and loved it hard.

Anonymous said...

Where the hell can I find this awesome movie? It's not on Netflix.

AnthonyF said...

Not only have I not seen Megaforce, I've never even heard of it.

But I will rent it tomorrow.

Ken Begg said...

First of all, Dave, it's an honor to know you have stopped by the Jabootu site, and it's always good to meet another MegaForce fanatic!

Sadly, MegaForce is not available on DVD (officially), which is pretty lame. However, the twenty-odd year old VHS tapes have held up surprisingly well, probably because they were those early ones that weighed eight pounds. So keep an eye out on eBay.

Joe said...

I used to have all the Megaforce Hot Wheels (or were they Matchbox?). The dune buggy was the coolest, because the missile rack would elevate up and down and there was a little laser that popped up in the back. They were such cool toys that they completely destroyed all my other die-cast cars.

F*@% YEAH!

Rob Muadib said...

Sweet, I lovezored the Megaforce too

F**K YEAH!

blasts off on his motorcycle

Chase said...

You left out Michael Beck in quite possibly his most powerful and dramatic role ever. Screw The Warriors, nothing says Oscar like cackling hysterically at a cartoon pig and shooting snakes.

ACE II said...

Loved the movie in '82 (opended on my 10th birthday and has stuck with me ever since. Check out my ode to MegaForce at www.megaforcehq.com. By the way, the toys were Hot Wheels (Mattel) and have been put out in several incarnations since (ie. Super Cannon & Enforcer... if yer interested).

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