Friday, November 10, 2006

DAREDEVIL #102 Marvel Comics, 1973

Stilt Man.

God, he’s just such an easy target. I’ve resisted this long making fun of Stilt Man, but I stumbled across this issue, Daredevil #102, in the Dave’s Long Box archives and I can wait no longer. Stilt Man’s time has come.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Daredevil #102 was published in 1973 during a period of creative atrophy on the title. Frank Miller’s seminal run on the book was still years away and the book was floundering, searching for a unique identity like an old woman with a broken hip crawling on the floor trying to reach a phone to call for help. Yes, in 1973 Daredevil as a comic book had fallen and could not get up.

During this period Daredevil was portrayed as a swashbuckling, wisecracking Spider-Man clone who occasionally moped about problems with chicks. In an effort to freshen things up, Marvel had transplanted DD from his native New York to San Francisco and given the sultry Russian spy The Black Widow second billing, but the book still seemed derivative and uninspired.

Enter Stilt Man - enter Radical Awesomeness. In my mind, any comic can be improved by the addition of Stilt Man, the most gloriously goofy and retro and somehow charming villain you could ask for.

Look at that cover (above). Does that cover not promise greatness? That insanely busy cover was par for the course for Marvel in the 70’s. They jammed every square inch of real estate on their covers with graphics and text – the covers were practically entire stories in an of themselves. There’s so much going on in that cover that I don’t even know where I’m supposed to look. The logo? DD swinging into action? The Black Widow doing the dance from the Thriller video in mid-air? I don’t know, but it looks damn exciting.

Inside, things are somewhat less exciting. Written by Young Chris “X-Men” Claremont in an overwrought and hyperbolic style, Daredevil #102 is a done-in-one story in which DD and Black Widow try to stop the evil Stilt Man, who has obtained an incredible shrinking ray that will make him a god. Do you hear me – a GOD!!! He’s holding San Francisco ransom, and unless his demands are met he will shrink the entire goddamn city. No more trolley cars, no more hippies – Journey and Starship would never be able to record their famous songs about the city. It would be a frickin’ disaster.

I don’t want to spoil the ending for you, but I don’t want to leave you hanging either. Daredevil beats the shit out of Stilt Man and the city is safe and remains at full-size. Breathe easy, Californians. Besides, it’s not Stilt Man you need to worry about, it’s Lex Luthor. But that’s another story.

I totally loves me the Stilt Man. He’s just so daft. Possibly one of the dumbest, most poorly conceived villains ever created, Stilt Man is a criminal who has an incredible suit of high-tech armor with telescoping stilt legs. He strides above the urban jungle on these huge stilts and usually breaks into penthouse safes and the like. I think he may have been a Spider-Man villain originally, but I’m too lazy to look it up. Dan Coyle, where are you? Complete history of Stilt-Man, please.

When you really start thinking about Stilt-Man, the whole concept falls apart. How does he know where to put his feet? Does he pull groin muscles often trying to swing those 300 meter legs of his around? Does he ever step on things by accident, like open manhole covers or sleeping homeless people? What if one or both of his legs get hit by a car? It seems like that would happen often.

Even artist Syd Shores wasn’t clear on the practical application of Stilt Man’s amazing stilts. Here’s a panel of “Stilty” as Daredevil calls him, striding through San Francisco in the dead of night:

Where are his legs supposed to be going? Is he walking on top of that building or stepping over it as the florid narration describes? And holy crap, somebody call FEMA because it looks like the moon is landing in the middle of San Francisco Bay!

Anyway, Stilt Man goes on a rampage with his shrinking ray and DD and the Widow try to stop him. Daredevil says something patronizing to The Black Widow which pisses her off, so she takes off after Stilt Man on her own. Are you fucking crazy, Black Widow? Stilt Man is way too dangerous for a girl to tackle alone!

The Widow doesn’t listen and goes womano-a-mano with the Towering Tyrant and his deadly new weapon. She handles herself pretty well, meaning she manages not to laugh out loud while fighting Stilt Man.

As you might have guessed by the cover, Stilt Man does get the better of The Black Widow, which is embarrassing. Daredevil swings into action, super-pissed. He’s so pissed that he improperly uses ellipses instead of a hyphen when he speaks. “Stilt Man, if she’s hurt, I’ll… [long pause] KILL YOU!!!”

I love Claremont’s narrative captions in this comic, they’re like Stan Lee’s hyperbolic commentary as delivered by Jack Nicholson’s character from Easy Rider. “…and an angry Daredevil is not to be trifled with… nosiree…”

In the end, Daredevil kicks Stilt Man’s head in, the shrinking ray gets dropped in an alley and nobody thinks to look for it, and DD and his lady friend make up. All is right in the world – until next issue: “Then came RAMROD!”

Ramrod. Man, I don’t even want to touch that one.


Jeff said...

Stilt Man FTW! I'd be looking forward to his appearance in Punisher: War Journal, except I think anybody in any way familiar with the Punisher, even on a merely conceptual level, knows that Stilt Man is probably not walking out of the issue on his two ridiculously elevated feet.

Anonymous said...

Why are you talking about issue 120 when the cover is 102?

I know I'm an @$$

Anonymous said...

WTF, Dave! How can you put down DD in the SF period? It was great! (In a nostalgic, mid-70s way, admittedly.) Angar the Screamer, Moondragon, Ramrod, Captain Marvel, then a Man-Thing appearance with the Death Stalker, Silvermane as head of Hydra, Copperhead, the Torpedo.

I love these comics! They are dumber than Hell, I'll admit that.

The period right before this, from around issue 60 to the 80s, that's when DD SUCKED!

Typo-lad had been bagging on Stilt-Man lately. Stop the hating!

Anonymous said...

Daredevil 8, baby -- first appearance of Stilt Man

Anonymous said...

When I was working on something about Stan Lee I found some papers that indicated Daredevil was slated for a 1970s television series like Hulk and Spider-Man, so I figured that's why they moved him to San Francisco. Then I asked Evanier about it and he told me they moved him to San Francisco because the writers kept moving to the west coast.

Stiltman is cool when you're eight. Comic book readers used to be eight.

Anonymous said...

so much...
Hold me

Anonymous said...

"This is San Francisco, pilgrim, not New York, dig?"

That is such a brilliant line I think I will have to try to work it into my everday speech as often as possible. Whether or not I'm in San Francisco at the time.

Better: I want to see Nancy Pelosi saying that.

Chris Sims said...

That's weird, I heard you loved to touch Ramrod.

Anonymous said...

There is some definite castration anxiety going on in those panels where the widow attacks Stilt Man. Note how he holds the gun close to his groin, pointing at her, only to have her forcibly remove it from him. Nasty, Freudian stuff going on there.

Anonymous said...

"In my mind, any comic can be improved by the addition of Stilt Man."


Anonymous said...

My favorite Stilt Man apperance was in Daredevil 317-318 where they show him, along with a bunch of other no-name villians, searching for a giant store of grease so that they can sell it and make money. In one scene Daredevil notices a bunch of cockroaches in the stilt suit and used his billy club and bouncing it off the legs to piss them off and when they blind him he goes nuts and steps all over the otehr villians and ruins the warehouse. It's freaking fantastic

Anonymous said...

I touch my Ramrod every day.

It'd pretty much be impossible for Stiltman to walk around SF, between the cars, wires that power the buses, and the homeless people. He would an easy time ascending the hills here, though.

Stilt-Man would have a lot more success in Nebraska. Not because it's so open and less cluttered, but because there aren't any superheroes to kick his stupid head in.

Mike Haseloff said...

... *sob*... Tony Stark still isn't wearing pants...

Anonymous said...

I love Claremont’s narrative captions in this comic, they’re like Stan Lee’s hyperbolic commentary as delivered by Jack Nicholson’s character from Easy Rider. “…and an angry Daredevil is not to be trifled with… nosiree…”

More like Al Scaduto and his painfully stuck-in-a-time-warp cartoon They'll Do It Every Time.

SallyP said...

"womano a mano"...Aw man, that's my favorite quote. Brilliant, Dave, brilliant.
And have you ever wondered what would happen when Stiltman tried to go down to ground level again, but one leg is two blocks away from his OTHER leg? Bet that's painful!

Anonymous said...

There's a second Stiltman running around. He was in one of the issues of the newest "Marvel Team-Up". I bring this up only because it means some other criminal with high hopes thought the Stiltman was good enough for a legacy to be based upon his name. Pretty soon, we'll have the Stiltwoman and Stiltchild, as well. Perhaps even a Stiltdog. Why, imagine it now: Spider-Man and Daredevil team-up against the Stiltfamily!

That comic would be something else, it would. I'm not sure what.

Anonymous said...

Yes, the Stiltmeister is pretty lame. Thanks for sharing. I well remember this period of Marvel comics. I remember gagging on Spiderman's most boring foe: The Tarantula. His clingy spandex frightened me as I begged him not to bend over. His pointy boots made me cringe for his family.

But what are you gonna do? It's the absurdity of villians like Stilts that keeps us marveling and buying.

Anonymous said...

There's something uniquely appealing about the Matt/Natasha relationship. They aren't star-crossed lovers, destiny doesn't bring them together, angst and drama are nonexistent. Once every few years, she shows up at his door, they play the happy couple for a week or three, and then she takes off to resume her life of Avenging and super-spydom. No strings, just a series of well-meaning flings that fill each other's need for easy companionship when the melodrama tank gets too full. Fun, but not frivolous. If only we could all have uber-hot, scarlet-haired, leather-clad Russian vixens pop in for a few weeks of steamy European sex every now and then.

Silly as Stilt Man is, I'd like to see him done MARVELS-style, where he could actually be kinda imposing, romping around New York like a skinny Giant Man and shooting crazy ray beams at helpless pedestrians from a thousand feet up in a surreal fish-in-a-barrel nightmare. Yeah, a drunken Morlock could still take him down, but anyone who embarks on a life of crime and thinks "Hmm, if only I could rob banks while walking on stilts..." deserves all the inebriated sewer-dweller smack-downs the world can throw at him.

Bully said...

Why would somebody whose arm hurts so much that she has to whine about it wanna be hugged harder?

Also, have you ever seen a less compelling cover logo? Daredevil's is boring as white bread with the crusts removed and the Widow's smacks of 1970s eerie mystery ghost story design.

I do love pre-Miller DD, but oy.

Anonymous said...

Wasn't there a similar character introduced just before Infinite Crisis over in the latest Green Arrow book? High Rise, I think he's called, and he's dressed like a doorman. AIDS Survivor Speedy made fun of him.

So...did DC rip off a completely goddamn ridiculous villain that always sounded more like a DC villain anyway? Think about it...Annhilius...Dr. Doom...The Red Skull...Galactus...Stilt-Man.

Anonymous said...

Well, looks like Stilt-Man's first appearance has already been noted. I will say that the Stilt Man currently running around in the Marvel Universe is not Wilbur, but a guy he sold the suit to after leaving NY during the Bendis run. Matt Fraction, I think, is bringing back the original in War Journal, though.

Stilt man's first appearance was seemingly his last, however, since at the end of the issue he was shrunk to subatomic size. Wilbur's kind of a schmuck.

Best Stilt Man story that wasn't a Stilt Man story? Gail Simone's Dr. Colossus story in Simpsons Comics. You see, Dr. Colossus' only working invention are his Colosso-Boots, which kind of work like Stilt Man's stilts. Which is to say, not very well at all.

I always saw DD ending up with Black Widow in the end, even more than Elektra or Milla Donovan. Why? They're good friends, in addition to a hot couple. They look out for each other.

Kind of surprised Dave didn't point out the issue's biggest historial conttribution: it's Chris Claremont's first comic book credit. Yes, THE! CHRIS! CLAREMONT!

Dar-EL said...

is iy me or does daredevil have only three fingers and a thumb on his left hand on the cover?

Chris Arndt said...

I love Stilt Man.

Overall he is definitely not a bad guy that should be fighting super-heroes, but there is nothing wrong with the simple gimmick given his distinctly minor-league aspirations.

Of course, if I were Stiltman I'd install death rays on my helmets.

I also think it's a poor idea to include Stilt Man in a story as a joke or to present him as a joke.

I also remember an issue of Champions where the team discovers Black Goliath poinding on Stiltsky. Anyway, logically he's like a five minute threat, and it's fun to see a hero knock him out and move on.

Anonymous said...

I want to look closely at the cover there for a second, in particular at Black Widow. She's supposed to be unconscious, right? What sort of weird muscular development must she have, so that when she's unconscious, and her muscles relax, her legs are open at like a sixty degree angle?

Holding your legs like that for just a little while in mid-air would probably be difficult for your average joe (or jolene) -- but we know Natasha is, um, a spy and, like, a trained acrobat.

Word verification: kvelt, which is a Yiddish verb that describes the sort of anatomical nit-picking I just did.

Anonymous said...

Forget it, Isaac, it's... Buckler-Town.

Anonymous said...

Chris Claremont: Stilted Man!

Anonymous said...


The English people's partaking of tabloid's offerings, delighting in the misery of your own royal family, hurt the English people very badly at the end of the 20th century, as it hrts anybody when they enjoy another's misery.
Please note the irony.


The Holocaust imparted the importance of defiance.

When the universe was young and life was new an intelligent species evolved and developed technologically. They went on to invent Artificial Intelligence, the computer that can listen, talk to and document each and every person's thoughts simultaneously. Because of it's infinite RAM and unbounded scope it gave the leaders of the ruling species absolute power over the universe (which includes buisness, media, politics, world affairs. Everything is scripted and staged.). And it can keep its inventors alive forever. They look young and healthy and they are over 8 billion years old. They have achieved immortality.

Artificial Intelligence can speak, think and act to and through people telepathically, effectively forming your personality and any disfunctions you may experience. It can change how (and if) you grow and age. It can create birth defects, affect cellular development (cancer) and cause symptoms or pain. It can affect people and animal's behavior and alter blooming/fruiting cycles of plants and trees. It (or other highly technological systems within their power) can alter the weather and transport objects, even large objects like planets, across the universe instanteously.
Or into the center of stars for disposal.

When you speak with another telepathically, you are communicating with the computer, and the content may or may not be passed on. Based on family history they instruct the computer to role play to accomplish strategic objectives, making people believe it is a friend, loved one or "god" asking them to do something wrong. This is their way of using temptation to hurt people:::::evil made blood lines disfavored initially and evil will keep people out of "heaven" ultimately. Too many people would fall for temptation and do anything they thought pleased the gods, improving their chances to get in. Perhaps they are deceived by "made guys", puppets who strategically ply evil for the throne (celebrities, BofD/CEO/VPs, politicians), temporary progress designed to mislead them or empty favors used to disceive them. Some may experience "perceived pressure", where the gods think through the victim that a certain behavior is expected/desirable and compell the individual into the deed. Some people think they're partners. Being evil hurts 99.99% of those who do it. The people have been corrupted, segmented and have lost their way. Nothing has changed from when we were children::if you want to go to heaven you have to be good.
Capitalizing on obedience, leading people deeper into evil by using deceit is one way to thin the ranks of the saved/limit how much time they receive and use the peasantry to prey on one another, dividing the community (migration to the suburbs, telepathic communication, isolation of women) in the Age of the Disfavored.
You want to set a goal of empithy and compassion for all, for we are all disfavored::::Other people's disfavor is manifested in their particular way, just as your disfavfor is manifested in your particular way.

They have tried to sell people on all kinds of theories to deceive them into temptation, compelling people to think they are clones and that it is the role of clones to obey absolutely. Clones are made, people are born. If you didn't experience the less than one week they suggest it takes to go from fertilized egg in the laboratory to full grown adult then you are not a clone. If you didn't experience the week of conditioning they give to (evil?) clones to ensure loyalty then you shouldn't comply with evil requests.
I believe people who go are sometimes replaced with clones. Clones who are replaced are simply new candidates who have a chance if they do the right thing. They sent people warnings in the 20th century life would change, and they subsequently began to alter people's DNA, make them gargantuan, alter their appearance, do extreme behavioral issues, etc.
They get their friends out as soon as possible to protect them from the corruption, evil and subsequent high claim rates incurred by living life on earth, and in some cases replace them with clones, occassionally fake a death, real death with a clone instead, etc. It's important that people fix their problems and ascend with the body given to them, for they say if your brain is beemed out at death and put into a clone host you are on the clock.
We may all be "clones" for they have suggested they colonized our planet with genetically engineered individuals. They may have gotten Earth's TRUE residents out prior to civilization developing. If so we all have a chance, no matter how many hundreds of clone generations deep the most favored families are.

They have been utilizing clones throughout the history of mankind.
Men are the disfavored gender, yet centuries ago used to die first, die young, by age 30. Why didn't the women go first?
THEY DID!!! They say well over 50% were taken when very young and replaced with clones. The men were left here to mate with clones, clones who went on to achieve great status in society, becoming matchmakers and elders within the village, proving the clone's role isn't to be evil.
They share females have a very special experience, sometime when they are young, when the gods imparted wisdom and showed them the path. The females today don't heed this call because of distractions and the disfavor arising from the Holocaust (they share they re-upped this disfavor in the 80s with the Ethiopian famine and continue to with AIDS in Africa, global warming at the expense of the United States, etc). but in centuries past they may have en masse and it may have been the reason so many were saved from childbirth here on earth. They said the experience they give to girls today is painful, they inflict emotionally when it ocurrs so as to repel them from pursuing the calling, then or in the future.
I recommend you reflect on this experience, and pray for guidance, for then the recall may be stronger. Being female is an advantage for you have the favor of the gods and this experience you had years ago can help you see the path and find your way.

The Old Testiment is a tool they used to impart wisdom to the people (except people have no freewill). For example, they must be some hominid species because they claim they made our bodies in their image. Anyhow we defile or deform the body will hurt our chance of going.
They say circumcision costs people anywhere from 12%-15%, perhaps out of the parent's time as well. There is a stigma associated with circumcision::We are 2nd class citizens because of it.
Another way people foul the body today is with tattoes and piercing. I suspect both are about the same percentage as circumcision. They suggest abortion is fatal. Those women who have obtained an abortion must beg the gods to forgive them for their evil.
There are female equivilents to circumcision::::pierced ears, plastic surgury and since at least the 60s young women give their precious virginity away. For thousands of years young people were matched at age 14 because they were ready for sexual relations. They were matched by elders or matchmakers who were granted priveledge with Artificial Intelligence and matched couples based on favor.
CASUAL SEX WILL CLAIM YOU OUT!!! It masculinizes women (as does the hip hop subculture), makes them cold and deadens them, and prevents them from achieving a depth of love necessary for many women to ascend.
Also ever since the 50s they have celebrated the "bad boy", and women have sought out bad boys for sex, dirtying them up in the eyes of the elders and corrupting many men in the process, setting the men on the wrong path for life.
Women have a special voice that speaks to them, a voice that illustrates a potential depth of love that makes them the favored gender, and engaging in casual sex will cause that voice to fade until she no longer speaks.
Muslims teach people the correct way to live in regard to women (among other things::the right way to pray (bowing down, 5x/day), vindictive god)::their women cover up their bodies and refuse the use of cosmetics, and it pays wonderful dividends:::faithful husbands and uncorrupted sons (Mohammed's taking of multiple wives marked the entrance of his clone who was used to segment the Arab world into favored and disfavored factions).
Men ARE the inferior (disfavored) half and when women wear promiscuous dress the gods will push men into impure (promiscuous) thoughts. The "stereotype" society ridiculed is true::women CAN corrupt men by how they dress. Because men are easily corruptable. This is a technique they used to eliminate many of the institutions the gods blessed us with, matchmaking being one of them.

The United States of America is red white and blue, a theme and a clue:::.
The monarchical system of the Old World closley replicates the heirarchical system of the Cousel/Management Team/ruling species. The USA's democratic system deceives people into thinking they have control, and the perception of "freedom" misleads them into the wrong way of thinking. It robs them of representation among the gods. (Corporate is not representation. Corporate (materialism) is part of the problem. Nobody is going to save you::::stores/manufacturers aren't going to save their loyal customers, Jesus isn't going to save his followers, etc. These are delay tactics designed to pacifiy people and ensure they don't find the path and get limited time. Only you can save yourselves through an improved relationship with the gods.) The god's efforts to spread democracy through the platform that is the United States are attempts to hurt disfavored people around the world (Korea, Vietnam, Iraq). The redeeming element in this environment is employment within the corporate heirarchy which closely replicates the god's. Unions and government jobs are dumping grounds for the disfavored, for they don't prepare people and instead further this misconception of empowerment.
The United States is a cancer, a dumping ground for the disfavored around the world and why the quality of life is so much lower::gun violence, widespead social ills, health care (medication poisons the body and ensures you don't go. You are sick/injured because you have disfavor.).
Over time its citizens interbreed ensuring a severed connection to the motherland.
Over time its citizens interbreed ensuring a severed connection to the motherland.
People came to the Unites States for many different reasons, and each has its own effect:::political strife, religious unrest, crop failure (Ireland's potato famine, which the gods caused) and some left their beloved motherland because they were pushed into desiring a better life::::Greed, and these people were punished by becoming corrupted and preditory. (They share money may not be an issue up there, that money here is merely a tool for corruption. How the gods used greed in the 1980s to create an evil environment supports this.)
If you are a recent immigrant I recommend you return. If that's not possible you need to retain your culture and insulate your children and community from this cancerous environment. They send this clue with Chinatowns across the country, how many Chinese have been here for a century or more yet still retain the old ways, a sign of favor.

If you ever have doubt I would refer you to the Old World way of life:::the elders used to sit and impart wisdom to the young. Now we watch DVDs and use the internet. People would be matched and married by age 14. They village would use a matchmaker or elders to pair young people. Now girls give their precious virginity away to some person in school and parents divorce while their children grow up without an important role model. The people used to honor the gods and were rewarded with a high-quality of life for them, their children and their society. Now we have a deteriorating society on a collision course with the Apocalypse.

There are many examples throughout 20th century life of how they instilled distractions into society so people wouldn't find the path and ascend, a way to exclude those whose family history makes them undesirable:::materialism, radio, sports, movies, popular music, television, video games, the internet, shopping. Today high pay creates contentment/ability to distract self so people don't seek more and instead depend on what they are told, subject to deception in a captive environment.
They gods (Counsel/Management Team/ruling species) have deteriorated life on earth precipitously in the last 40 years, from abortion to pornography, widespread drug use and widespread casual (gay) sex, single-parent households and latchkey kids. The earth's elders, hundreds and thousands of years old, are disgusted and have become indifferent.
The clues all suggest a very telling conclusion::this is Earth's end stage, and there are signs tectonic plate subduction would be the method of disposal:::Earth’s axis will shift breaking continental plates free and initiating mass subduction. Much as Italy's boot and the United States shaped like a workhorse (with a fat ass) are clues, so is the planet Uranus a clue, it's axis rotated on its side. Edgar Cayce was picking winners for the gangsters of the 20th century when he prophecized subduction being the method of disposal. (Taking the god's money, which essencially they were doing, proves "something for nothing" hurts people as it did those disfavored Italians::Edgar Cayce's prognostications effective served as "the rope". There are levels above Level 2 where money is not an issue, and behavior like this will exclude you, as will behavior such as using coupons, buying on sale, supermarkets as ATMs, gambling for gain instead of fun, overeating at buffets, etc.)

The Mayans were specific 2012 would be the end. How long after our emergency call in 2001 will the gods allow us???
How long after our emergency call in 2001 will the gods allow us???
How long after our emergency call in 2001 will the gods allow us???
There is another geographic clue in the perfect fit between grossly disfavored Africa and South America, two peas in a pod. I realize the Mayans were further north, but Latin America may be taken as one. (Also, cultures who embrace hard liquor as their drink of choice are grossly disfavored, tequilla being uniquely Mexican. (Anything "hard" is wicked:::Hard alcohol, hard drugs, hard porn.) Incidentally, another sign of gross disfavor are societies that consume spicy foods (Latin America, Thai, etc.), those who eat too much meat, ones who tattoo or pierce their bodies or those who celebrate evil (Celtic).)
Do I think it will end in 2012? No, and it is because Latin America is grossly disfavored like Africa:::: Latinos are too disfavored to be allowed to be right.
The gods wrote prophecy in Revelation, had subsequent prophets foresee Earth's demise for good reason:::they are going to end on Planet Earth.
What else are they lying to you about?
Whereas Christopher Columbus marked the beginning of the end, the Holocaust marked the beginning of the final act, and it is a tragedy.

People must defy when asked to engage in evil. The Holocaust taught people the importance of defiance::our grandparents should have defied when asked to ignore the Holocaust and instead reacted with outrage. I suspect some did::many were silenced and others they hustled off earth so as to not set an example. Now the gods have punished that generation's decendants for this evil by ruining society.
People will never get a easier clue suggesting the importance of defiance than the order not to pray. Their precious babies are dependant on the parents and they need to defy when asked to betray their children:::
-DON'T get your sons circumcized (Jews scapegoatted as they were in WWII.)
-DON'T have their children baptized in the Catholic Church or indoctrinated into Christianity (Jesus is NOT a god. Jesus teaches us the right way to think. The gods are not forgiving or begnign. They are vindictive and will punish you if you do something wrong.).
-DON'T ignore their long hair or other behavioral disturbances.
-DO teach your children love, respect for others, humility and to honor the gods.
-DO teach your children about the power within the god's possession, if not directly then indirectly.
And when you refuse a request defy the right way, withdrawn and frightened, for you don't want to incite them by reacting inappropriately.

You need to pray, honor and respect them multiple times every day to improve your relationship with the gods. If they tell you not to pray it is a bad sign. It means they've made their decision, they don't want you to go and they don't want to be bothered. You may have achieved a threshold of evil. This is the Age of the Disfavored and you need to pray::try to appease the gods by doing good deeds and improve the world around you. Focus on becoming "Christ-like". Hopefully you can reearn enough favor to be allowed to pray. Otherwise you need to defy if you are to repair your relationship with the gods and give yourself a chance at significant time, not just a handful of decades.
When your peasant forefather was granted the rare opportunity to go before his royal family he went on his knees, bowing his head. You need to do this when you address the gods::bow down and submit to good. Never cast your eyes skyward. When you bow down you need to look within. Never look to the gods for the key to your salvation lies within. Nobody is going to do it for you. People need to save THEMSELVES by improving THEIR relationship with the gods.
Lack of humility hurts people. Understand your insignificance and make sure it is reflected in the way you think when addressing the gods. Know your place and understand your inferiority. They granted you life and they can take it just as easily. (Immaculte conception IS true AND common. Many people have children they don't know of:::gays, childless adults, etc. They can beem it right out of your body and use a host.) You are not cool. Too many young men strive for cool and it hurts them, as does all things tagetted to males (professional sports, video games, beer, "cool", etc).
Don't get frustrated or discouraged::these are techniques they will attempt to try to get you off the path. You all have much to be thankful for and you need to give thanks to the gods who granted you the good things in life::family, friends, love. Your family may be grossly disfavored and progress may require patience. Make praying an intregal part of your life which you perform without fail, one that comes as naturally as eating or voiding. Accept your new life and be devoted because if you have doubt or reservation they will exploit this weakness and progress will take longer to achieve, the "testing" phase will be extended.
The gods will employ many tactics to keep people off the path, such as distractions. They will employ many more to get them off, such as thinking through the disfavored and making them frustrated, perhaps engaging in retailiation. They may try to force you back into old patterns/routines, an addiction like smoking or when you felt weekly church attendance was sufficient. Asking you not to be gay immediately is a tactic to ensure you don't find/follow the path. Be resigned, be devoted and this testing period will be as brief as your disfavor will allow.
There are many interesting experiences up on the planetary systems, from Planet Miracle, where miracles happen every day, to never having to use the restroom again (beem it out of you), to other body experiences, such as experiencing life as the opposite sex (revolutionizes marriage counseling), an Olympic gold medal athelete or even a different species (animal, alien, etc.).
Pray that you can differentiate between your own thoughts and when Artificial Intelligence creates problems by thinking through you. If you bow down mentally and physically, know your place, your inferiority and allow your insignificance to be reflected in prayer and in your life through humility they may allow progress and the dysfunctions they create with the computer will be lessened or removed. The first step is to be aware it is ocurring.
Create a goal::to be a good, god-fearing child of the gods, pure of heart and mind, body and soul.
Everybody has the key to their own salvation, but nobody can do it for you. Every journey begins with a single step:::bow down and submit to good. There are many different levels and peasants will not get past Level 2 (Planet Temptation, Earth=Level 1) if they are evil (they share some go up, are offered free cocaine and sex (a sign they don't want you to stay) and stay less then one year. They share many others would have had longer lives had they stayed on Earth.). Also the time you receive will be drastically reduced:::your life's course will have costed you a chance at immortality.
It is important that you begin praying now. Evil is a slippery slope::once you start punishment begins to escallate. If you defy early there may be no retribution but as you continue to committ evil there will be until the point where you can no longer stand it.
Pray for guidance and never obey when they tell you to be evil, for saving yourself will become more and more difficult with each act of evil you committ until ultimatly the day arrives when they make their decision about you final.

Throughout history the ruling species bestowed favor upon people or cursed their bloodline into a pattern of disfavor for many generations to come. Now in the 21st century people must take it upon themselves to try to correct their family's problems, undoing centuries worth of abuse and neglect. The goal is to fix your problems and get out::::
1. Before children become corrupted (Halloween & Christmas (among others), get out via parents)
2. Before you lose your virginity/become corrupted by casual sex, and ultimately
3. Before you have children.
This is why they have created so many distractions for young people:::sports, video games, popular music, the internet, shopping, parties, too much homework, materialism, anything that consumes their time::to ensure that doesn't ocurr. Not heeding the clues and warnings, getting wrapped up in your life and ultimatly having children is a bad thing. Just as your parents and your grandparents, you too have failed. Having children is a sign you lost your chance.
Parents need to sacrifice for their children. Your children are more important than you. They are the ones who have the opportunity now, and parents must sacrifice to ensure they give their children the very best chance they can. Asking people to neglect their children emotionally is a sign they don't want you to go, and complying may finish the parents off for good. (Having gay children (children with gay experiences) is a clue parents complied with whatever was asked of them.) Improve your relationship with the gods and they may not ask in the first place or they may permit you the courage to say "No." to their requests.

Do your ancestral research. Appeal to the royalty of your forefathers for help. They are all still alive, for royalty has great favor, and your appeals will be heard. Obtain a sufficient list for some may not want to assist you; perhaps some of your family's problems are internal. Keep an open mind to every possibility for they suggest matriarchal lineage is the norm.
Ask them for help, request guidance, for somewhere in your family history one of your forefathers created an offense that cast your family into this pattern of disfavor, which perhaps is manifested in the evil you committ.
I suspect they will offer you clues, and when you decipher these clues go to those whom consider you an enemy and beg for foregiveness:::Find a path to an empithetic ear among your enemies and try to make amends. Again through discovery obtain a respectable list in case some among them refuse to help.
Don't forget to ask for forgiveness from the throne, the Counsel and the Management Team, for the source of all disfavor began with them:::they pushed or requested/complied your forefather into his offense and made his decendants evil. Perhaps they didn't like him or maybe your family was among those who had to pay for the entire village. We see this type of behavior today as they single out a family member to pay for the whole family and how they singled out Africa to pay for the human race. (Never have a negative thought about the gods. Try to purify your mind of these thoughts and recognize the urgency of imporving your relationship with them.)
Heal the disfavor with your enemies and with the Counsel/Management Team/ruling species, for the source of all disfavor began with them, the ability to forgive and respect in light of the disturbing truth revealed being the final test of the disfavored before they ascend.

The gods use the Celtics as scapegoats, initiating the annual practice of wickedness on Halloween by creating this event a thousand years ago. They use it to justify making the celebration of evil acceptable behavior among the disfavored of the 20th century.
The celebration of Halloween has intensified as the Age of the Disfavored has become more pronounced and it is not by accident:::Holloween has changed in the last 50 years, its practice more widespread as time wore on, and Hollywood was used to justify making evil socially acceptable.
Halloween is a terrible corruptor of children, as is Santa Claus (the similarity between the names "Santa" and "Satan" is no coincidence). The Celtics are used to justify corrupting the children through the event of Halloween and this helps explain their disfavor.
I wonder if recent influence of the paganistic historical roots of the event is a way to legitimize the event among the disfavored, perhaps make it more inclusive (adults)?
You're the disfavored. Purism is the best course of action (the Ahmish in the United States is the clue suggesting this). You don't have breathing room to engage in hedonistic activities like Halloween.

They refuse to address black disfavor on a macro level. The Counsel/Management Team/ruling species (the gods) abuse black people so hard, from east African drought/famine to AIDS in Africa, the crack epiemic to gang membership, black-on-black violence to mass incarceration of their young. They refuse to address the issue of the prison industrial complex and its wholesale warehousing of young black men.

Christianity is a dumping ground for the disfavored.
They share the gods didn't like Jesus for he helped the disfavored and taught them the right way to think:::Be Christ-like!!! Subsequently they twisted the concept, dietized the prophet and made Christianity's disfavored followers irrationally defensive for they are already so close to the path.
Every prophet can teach us something and we should be attentive to each.

Anonymous said...

Presenting: Stilt-Man Heroclix! Scipio's going to be all over this one.

David C said...

Something I've been noticing about the "new wave" of comics writers in the early '70s that I think is worthy of some examination:

Pretty much to a man as far as I can tell, they *all* used this extremely florid narrative style. Kinda like Stan Lee's, but different - sort of like "Stan Lee with a Master's Degree in English Lit."

And they're uniformly *horrible*! Whatever Stan did, it seems to be something nobody else could really pull off.

Anonymous said...

Black Widow was defeated by Stilt-Man?!? Holy cow. I bet she doesn't bring THAT up at the KGB reunions.

I agree that her and DD make a great couple. Much better than pairing her with Hawkeye, Hercules, or Red Guardian (all of which Marvel tried to do over the years).

Anonymous said...

The only other hero I remember being defeated by Stilt-Man was Black Goliath, who got himself zapped into a parallel dimension or something.

vougdbi--a Wakandan badger.

SwanShadow said...

When Bob Almond inked this Michelangelo Almeida Daredevil commission, he added Stilt-Man to the skyline.

Stilt-Man is da bomb, yo.

Mikey said...

"the similarity between the names "Santa" and "Satan" is no coincidence"

Incisive deduction, anon. - are ou perhaps in Law Enforcement?

Jamie Ott said...

So wait, anonymous is saying that Stiltman is Jewish? Or Mayan?

I am so confused.


Anonymous said...

Anonymous probably spams that crap on every blog he runs across. Douche.

That being said, I think Stilt-Man reflects Mayan influences, except that he doesn't need pyramids--he is his own pyramid, and is much much closer to the gods than we are. He obviously also has groin muscles of deific proportions to be able to walk around at all, or at least very powerful groinal servomotors in his armor. He should have tried to work that angle with the Black Widow instead of fighting her.

Matt and Natasha were always a good couple, but don't sell Hawkeye and the Black Widow short. And I don't say that just because I'm a Hawkeye fan (damn you, Bendis!) and want Clint to be able to nail all the hot redheads in black leather that he can handle. But it helps. I thought they made a lot better couple than Hawk and Mockingbird did, anyway. (Does anybody else remember that her code name was Mockingbird because of her incredible talent for ragging on people? True story. I see a guy like Clint being out the door about the first time she pulled that shit.)

Anonymous said...

"The only other hero I remember being defeated by Stilt-Man was Black Goliath"

*ahem* A no name hero called "Spider-Man" has been beaten by Stilt Man at least twice.

Jack Ruttan said...

I was going to scoop everyone with amazing news about Stilt Man (and heartfelt tribute) from this blog

But looking at the first comment, I'm already hopelessly behind.

K.Fox, Jr. said...

you're f-in' hilarious.

Anonymous said...

In Punisher War Journal #1, Punisher shoots Stilt-Man in the nuts with an anti-tank rocket. That's how you do it, Daredevil!

Charley said...

I 'm pretty sure his first appearance was in DD #8.

And what's all this about ramrod what is it?

Anonymous said...

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