Wednesday, June 21, 2006

DETECTIVE COMICS #571 DC Comics, 1986



Detective Comics #571 was one of the first comics that I commented on when I started the blog back in April 2005. Those first few posts are painful to read now - I hadn't quite hit on the proper "voice" for the blog yet - but are mercifully short. I thought I would revisit this issue today, complete with actual scans and actual jokes.

Here's what I wrote Back in the Day:

------
"An issue from writer Mike Barr and artist Alan Davis’ run on Detective Comics.
"The Barr/Davis issues were fun retro romps through Giant Typewriter Land instead of grim slogs through Crime Alley. These issues feature the almost universally hated Jason Todd version of Robin, but I like them anyway – they’re just old school Batman & Robin stories told with style. I’m a huge fan of Alan Davis, who worked on this run with inker Paul Neary. Davis is one of the best artists working in comics today – his work is so clean and confident – I just think he’s the shit. I mean that in a good way.
"Much like the Silver Age comics they pay tribute to, this brief run of Detective Comics features stories that wrap up in one comic book and don't stretch out over multiple issues. This issue is a tightly plotted and drawn comic book that efficiently tell the story, then gets the hell out. Sure, it's a little cheesy, but intentionally so. I love it."
------

That about sums it up. This one-shot story pits Batman and Robin against the Pharoah of Phobias, The Scarecrow! Instead of his usual fear-inducing gas, this time The Scarecrow has mixed things up a little and uses fear-inhibiting gas as a blackmail* tool. That's what I like about old school Batman villains: they had gimmicks and costumes and shit, but in the end they were all about the Benjamins. The Scarecrow has an understandable motivation: he wants to get paid. In full.

The Duke of Dread doses a champion race car driver who refuses to pay an extortion demand with his new anti-fear gas, robbing him of all fear and self-preservation. The driver crashes in the middle of a race after doing something stupid, and his car goes up in flames. Dude is trappped. Lucky for him Bruce Wayne and Jason Todd, both big NASCAR fans, are in the stands drinking Coors Ice and sucking on chili dogs. They change into Batman and Robin and leap into action:

I know: what exactly are they swinging from in that first panel? Is there a low-flying blimp hovering over the racetrack, just off-panel?

Batman has Robin, umm, hose him down before he rescues the driver from the burning car, which leads us to this classic panel:

S-so... many... jokes... must fight it -!

With some effort, I will refrain from indulging in obvious and infantile humor. I doubt I could add anything new to the collective oeuvre of Batman & Robin gay humor anyway. And really, the whole Batman & Robin gay thing is sort of played-out, isn't it? Can't we just move on? Anyway, the sound effects design in this comic book is excellent - I love that shooosh hose effect.

Thanks to Batman & Robin, the driver survives the crash. The Scarecrow shows up in the guy's hospital room and demands money. The driver refuses. Bad call. Still under the influence of the anti-fear drug, the driver makes like R. Kelly and believes he can fly. He is mistaken.

I'm a big fan of Davis and Neary's version of The Scarecrow, who looks creepy and inhumanly gaunt. Eat a cookie, Scarecrow!

Things move fast in this comic. Within a few short pages The Scarecrow kidnaps Robin and doses Batman with his anti-fear gas, then lays out a series of elaborate and undoubtedly expensive death traps for Batman to navigate in his impaired state. So that's why The Scarecrow needs to rob people - quality death traps aren't cheap, you know.

Batman waltzes into The Scarecrow's traps, psychotically overconfident. Look at that cocky S.O.B.:

Chemically impaired, Batman traipses from one trap to another, which brings us to a page that will blow you away with its awesomeness. I refer to the scene where Batman bullfights semi-trucks:

As my homey Chris Sims would say: "YOU ARE NOW FREAKING OUT!"

There is further death trap hilarity and radness:

Damn, how is Batman gonna get outta that tight spot? I'll tell you: he ducks underwater and wedges himself in a corner and then breathes using air trapped in his cape, of course.

The Scarecrow is laughing his bony ass off and gloating about Batman's apparent death to Robin when a wet and pissed Dark Knight shows up. "Wha--? How did you escape?"

Again, quality sound effects. Batman hit Scarecrow so hard that he smeared the sound effect and apparently broke the villain's chicken neck as well. Do not get Batman wet, it just pisses him off. That cape weighs a frickin' ton when it gets wet and takes forever to dry. You try driving around in the Batmobile all night with a wet ass and see how happy you are.

There you are: a slightly more comprehensive look at a neo-classic Batman comic, complete with bad jokes. I've come a long way in one year.

*Common error: I used the word blackmail when I really should have used the word extortion instead. My journalism prof would be so disappointed.

35 comments:

Rob Schamberger said...

That bit with the racecar driver reminds me of one of my favorite jokes:

There's a bar on top of a skyscraper, and one of the patrons goes over to a guy at the bar and says, "I bet you a hundred bucks I can take this shot, jump out that window, run around the building, and come sit back down here."

"Sure, man, you're on."

So, the guy takes the shot, jumps out the window, and a moment later comes running in the door and takes his seat.

"Shit, I bet if a nerd like you can do that, I can too!" So, he takes a shot, jumps out the window, and falls to his death.

The bartender looks up, "Superman, you're a real dick, you know that?"

Bill said...

"Let's take Batman, and remove any sense of self-preservation or restraint he might have."

Brilliant, Scarecrow. Next time, convince him he can bring his parents back to life by ripping your lungs out.

Anonymous said...

"Superman, you're a real dick, you know that?"

Yeah, but everyone knows that.

Edward Liu said...

Some of my favorite bits of this comic:

- The little smile Batman gets when he says, "I can take anything the Scarecrow can dish out."

- Bullfighting a truck. Batman bullfighting fucking trucks. Because he wants to give the Scarecrow a show. That's at least 15 pounds of pure awesome.

- The one-panel beat as the machine guns snap into place as Batman looks up at them. I think that sequence is hilarous. So what if the room seems to get about 20 feet wider from the previous panel? Good for another 15-20 pounds of pure awesome, easy.

-- Ed

Ken Begg said...

This was adapted into an episode of Batman: TAS, right?

Obviously you aren't going to able to blackmail a guy after you've make him fearless. Moron.

Harvey Jerkwater said...

Man, do I love the Comic Book Radness.

Also, the Scarecrow is a dumbass. Doesn't he watch Mythbusters? Shooting bullets into water, especially rifle bullets, is a waste of perfectly good killin' power! Pistol bullets lose killing velocity in a few feet of water; rifle (and machine gun) bullets shatter on impact.

That, Dr. Crane, is why you should fire whatever subcontractor created your deathtraps. Granted, the "Iron Cross of Big Rig Doom" was cool, but c'mon.

My company is offering a deal right now: three spiked pits, two piranha-infested tanks, nine exploding mannequins that look like Mary Poppins, and a pendulum scythe, all for a reasonable rate. Lasers and giant clams not included. We also customize for a modest fee.

DarkJawa said...

Davis/Neary is what got me to pick up Excalibur when that series first started... how could you not love those insane covers? (Then again, I'm a sucker for that clean art-deco style.)

When I first discovered this site a couple of months back, I took the time to read it front-to-back, and agree that the overall quality and awesomeness of this blog continues to rise...

ohgrl said...

And really, the whole Batman & Robin gay thing is sort of played-out, isn't it? Can't we just move on?

Not when you use the phrase "sucking on chili dogs" in the second paragraph. Then it's Game On.

Amadeus Feldspar said...

I didn't know Davis/Neary did a run on Batman (okay, I was 9 when this comic came out). I totally dig Davis' art. How long was his run on Batman, and does anyone know if it is collected in a tpb? Thanks

afeldspar

Chance said...

As someone commented, what the hell makes Scarecrow think he can blackmail people after removing their fears? What's wrong with terrifying them until they agree to give him whatever he asks? And as for killing people who don't pay, see, that only works if other people you're leaning on know about what a cold bastard you are. If you just have them commit suicide in lonely hospital rooms, well, it may be amusing, but there you are with still no money, dumbass.

And yes, I know it's the oldest convention in the comical book, but I love how the driver "won't last a minute in there!" so Batman and Robin run away, change clothes, come back, and then stand around playing with a hose. That's, what? At least five minutes, right? In real world time, at least twenty. This is the kind of situation where a gifted Bat-writer would make Bruce Wayne use his crafty genius and think of a way to rescue the guy quick (since there's obviously no time to get out of sight, ditch your clothes, and don a heavy bodysuit, cowl, cape, boots, gloves, and belt) without exposing his own identity at Batman.

Chris Sims said...

That panel is indeed mind-blowingly freakout inducing. And it's easily one of my favorite comics of all time.

Chris Sims said...

Oh, and can I also mention that any--and I mean ANY--time Batman goes to a junkyard, awesomeness ensues?

Siskoid said...

"And yes, I know it's the oldest convention in the comical book, but I love how the driver "won't last a minute in there!" so Batman and Robin run away, change clothes, come back, and then stand around playing with a hose. That's, what? At least five minutes, right? In real world time, at least twenty. This is the kind of situation where a gifted Bat-writer would make Bruce Wayne use his crafty genius and think of a way to rescue the guy quick (since there's obviously no time to get out of sight, ditch your clothes, and don a heavy bodysuit, cowl, cape, boots, gloves, and belt) without exposing his own identity at Batman."

To be fair, the 1-minute countdown starts when they swing in. He only needs that cold shower so he'll stop thinking about the boy wonder long enough to do the job. ;)

Greg said...

Feldspar: Barr/Davis/Neary did issues #569-575. A two-part Joker story in which he turns Catwoman evil again, this issue, a 50th-anniversary issue of Detective, a Mad Hatter story, a slightly different Batman origin story, and the first part of "Year Two." All good stuff. Read about it here (if I can pimp my own work - I know, shameless).

The best part of this issue was Batman smiling. Davis makes him so freaky and disturbing, it's no wonder other artists don't like to make him smile.

McGone said...

God, I loved these issues. Davis is fantastic. And I don't mean this in a bad way at all... his style hasn't changed over the years. His stuff on JLA: The Nail looks like his stuff on Detective and like his stuff on that awesome New Mutants Annual and Excalibur and so on. I'm not saying the brother hasn't evolved - he's definitely gotten better - I'm just saying no matter what it is or when it's from, you see an Alan Davis book and you know it's an Alan Davis book.

And he totally makes me accept Superheroines in high heels. If he had drawn the lesbian Batwoman sketches, I bet less people would have complained about the stiletto boots.

Andy said...

Recently acquired the Barr/Davis/Neary run on ebay and they were the most enjoyable Batman books I'd read in ages. Toss up between them and the Wagner/Grant/Breyfogle issues as to the best period of Detective.

I also loved Batman calling Robin chum at least once per issue.

Brilliant.

Andy

Tom Bondurant said...

SPOILER for this issue, maybe?



Isn't this the one where Batman overcomes the anti-fear gas by picturing his greatest fear -- a dead Jason Todd?

It's a little creepy in hindsight, but it sure has resonance now.

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Augie De Blieck Jr. said...

I just love the John Workman lettering. Only he could get away with that gigantic question mark in those gigantic balloons the way he does. Brilliant!

And to anyone looking for more Davis Batman art -- don't forget his run on BATMAN AND THE OUTSIDERS. I think that was in the early 80s.

Adj said...

For me, what makes the bullfighting the truck panel even more awesome is that, at first glance, it looks like Batman's bullfighting Optimus Prime.

And yeah, Alan Davis is the shit. Excalibur is what got me reading comics full time again. I loved his Captain Britain.

Dan Coyle said...

Man, Davis makes Batman's cape a character in itself. His Batman is awesome looking, right up there with Aparo and Adams.

Cheeseburger said...

Uh-oh, Dave's begun recycling comics he already reviewed! Maybe his collection isn't as impressive as he would have us beleive...

Cheeseburger said...

...and yes, I realize that I'm leaving myself open to many comments to the nature of "it's not the size of a man's collection that counts, but rather how many sarcastic/witty/thoroughly entertaining blog entries one can get out of it."

Kevin Church said...

Look at the comics Dave reviews.

Calling his collection awesome would be a mighty overstatement.

Anonymous said...

Greg said...

Feldspar: Barr/Davis/Neary did issues #569-575. A two-part Joker story in which he turns Catwoman evil again, this issue, a 50th-anniversary issue of Detective, a Mad Hatter story, a slightly different Batman origin story, and the first part of "Year Two." All good stuff. Read about it here (if I can pimp my own work - I know, shameless).

Somewhere I've got that 50th-anniversary issue of Detective, and it was mighty indeed. Elongated Man, Slam Bradley, and Sherlock Holmes himself all made appearances. And It had a Kaluta cover, if I recall correctly. It was made of purest awesomenium.

Anonymous said...

"I didn't know Davis/Neary did a run on Batman (okay, I was 9 when this comic came out)."

I was ten when it came out, and I bought it at the drug store, so I'm not falling for your excuse, no sir.

This was in a stack of comics (along with a bunch of other Davis/Neary "Detective" issues) I let someone borrow the week the first Burton Batman film came out, and never got the issues back. Seeing the cover breaks my heart, as I'm pretty sure it was the first Batman comic I ever bought.

Mikey said...

I know a couple of other people have already commented on it, but I just want you to see this picture again:
Clicky!
That right panel's exactly how I look when I've self-medicated on a case of the nice Heineken.

Incientally, for those of you that want to read that classic tale in full it's in the 'Scarecrow Tales' TPB that came out around the time of 'Batman Begins'

I think.

Chris Arndt said...

No. This was adapted into an episode of The New Batman Adventures.

There was something in the plot of that episode, I never read the comic it was based on, that hacked me off.

I loved the bit where Bruce went after the Scarecrow and just killed two or three gators without too much effort. That is badass.

But there was also that scene where "you're not even afraid to kill". That hacked me off. The episode functioned under the assumption that his moral judgement and stances were based on fear ("I am afraid... to kill. I am brave enough... to kill") rather cold hard-assedness. Whether or not to take someone's life was based on attitude and not a sense of pure will power or a hard decision or just a status quo in his head? FEH!

Ultimately it's just a difference of analysis between me and the cartoon writers what fear is. To them fear was common sense and integral to judgement. To me, what prevents me from doing stupid things is the fact that I am not a dumbass and fear is what prevents me from doing safe things. Fear is mostly irrational. So even if the fear is gone, I still won't be irrational and do irrational things like trying to fly.

I never read the comic.

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