Tuesday, April 18, 2006

X-Men Week is GO!

It had to happen sooner or later: X-Men Week here at Dave's Long Box! That's right, for the next seven days it's going to be 100% wall-to-wall mutant action!

Yes, it's time for me to summon the focused totality of my blogging powers! Time for me to be the best there is at what I do - and what I do isn't very pretty! You will love X-Men Week, body and soul, and if you don't - your choice, bub. And your funeral!!!

Sorry, just trying to get in the spirit. I'll try to keep the Claremontisms to a minimum this week.

And look! X-Men team leader Cyclops is here with our official X-Men Week banner! Cyclops is an intense fellow.

To me, my X-Men!!!


David Campbell said...

I just noticed - the X-Men are running so hard on that cover that they are BREAKING THE EARTH! Now that is power! X-MEN POWER!!!

Quilty said...

I feel welcome to X-Men Week... but will I survive the experience?

Dan Coyle said...

In a tale we HAD to call- "My Blogger- My ENEMY!"

I used to have that Annual. God, it was a bad storyline, and that issue in particular was drawn by every hot artist at the time.

Looking forward to this week, though.

Kevin Church said...

Aw, no, no, no, no, no!

Damn you.

Harvey Jerkwater said...

Will X-Men week offer any quarter, or ask for any?

'Cause, you know, maybe it should, just this once. The X-Men never do, but who knows. Maybe they'd like it.

"This is quarter? Shee-oot, why the hell didn't we ask for this years ago?"

Anonymous said...

You think after a team-up, the Avengers or Fantastic Four go back to their headquarters and make fun of how the X-Men talk?

Brian Mac said...

Dammit! Harvey beat me to my favorite Claremontism. I do think, though, that in the proper spirit of the week, you'll need to open each entry with "Ah'm DAVE!"

As a one-time owner of that annual, I'm looking forward to this week more than is probably healthy.

Macavity said...

Dave. Please. Please. Please do 2 things for me.

1)Comment on Joss Whedon and David Cassady's Astonishing X-Men.

2)Have a "Cyclops is NOT a pussy" day, and take a look at old (Claremont mostly) comics where he was cool (like goading Wolverine into an all-out fight, just to make sure he got over being thrashed by Proteus)

Macavity thinks modern comics make Cyclops a pussy. Except Astonishing X-Men, because he got pissed off and vaporised a Sentinel by removing his visor completely. Why? To save time! Yay Cyclops!

Ok, I'm done....

Anonymous said...

If this blog gets too intense, I may have to "rabbit!"

Or blind my enemies by "popping a flashbulb!"

I look forward to this week of X-Men, TOVARISCH! I expect it to be WUNDERBAR and UNGLAUBLICH!

Can Dave get through the week without saying "Focused Totality"? Not possible!

Rasselas said...

This makes me feel old. Case in point: when I was in high school, chicks in the drama club read X-Men.

Steven said...

Really? I thought X-Men Week would hit us hard and hit us fast.

Macavity said...

Ok, Fine, I'll join in.

Dave has sown the wind, no he will reap the whirlwind!!!

Rob Schamberger said...


Michael said...

Sweet Goddess! Dave's the best there is at what he does, and what he does isn't pretty. He will skewer us with the Fastball Special of his focused totality.

pop_aristocrat said...


I agree with Macavity, have a feature on Cyclops. I can think of not one, but TWO (2!!) instances where Cyclops single handedly kicked the tar out of the entire rest of the team, including Collosus and Wolverine.

In recent years, Cyclops has added about 50 lbs of muscle, lost all his competent fighting skill, and I'm pretty sure Wolverine is like a god now (did you see him cut down that Magneto statue with his claws? With 12'' claws!! That's like stabbing the Statue of Liberty with a kitchen knife and having it topple over!). We need to set the record straight.

jm said...

Och, you silver-tongued devil. We're in for a penny, in for a pound. Every day will be a celebration, for this feature is sure to absorb m'psyche and powers.

We love the X-men more deeply and truly than we know.

Anonymous said...

Awww hell yeah!!!!!

duncan said...

Damn, everyone used every catchphrase.

Unglaub... yep.

Hold on - Bozhe moi!

Exciting stuff. I'd particularly like you to do X-Force #19, which I'm of the opinion is possibly the worst comic ever. 'The open hand and the closed fist'. Come on.

Dan Jacobson said...

Definitely looking forward to X-Men week, here at Dave's Long Box, the blog that features humorous looks at old comics from a position of genuine love rather than ironic distance.

It is imperative that we revel in the full comedic glory of old X-Men comics in the way that only Dave Campbell, employee of a well-known Seattle corporation that isn't Microsoft, can.

Needless over-explanation--the only Claremontism that matters now.

William Sims said...

I think dave must have a psychic rapport with the X-Men.

Word verification: dasblk -- which I think is one of Nightcrawler's exclamations.

Richard said...

We all want to do X-FORCE 19. But it always gives everyone fake fake phone numbers, and we're all left speaking to the cashier at a Greek deli - mind you, the goat tongue sandwich is better than you'd expect.


Is Cyclops angry at an ATM or are you expressing exasperation with the X-Men (Marvel's cash machine)?

Bully said...

How about a day on the obvious anorexia of Cyclops?

He's the justly named "Slim" in the early Kirby issues...bulks up a bit by the time of Adams...is nearly as wide as he is tall by the time of Cockrum (those pirate boots don't help a bit)...then he loses a bit of broadness but still keeps the muscle mass under Byrne...bulks out again under Cockrum 2.0...reverts to "Slim" under Paul Smith...back and forth and back and forth through Romita and Silvestri and Lee and all the Lee imperonators that follow...and them Quitely brings back "Slim."

Or you could just post the panel where married Scott is visibly drooling over formerly-British now-Asian sexpot Psylocke in a Pikachu maillot.

Edward Liu said...

I was really upset when I saw that Dave was going to do X-Men week.

I got better.

And, just to set up the last Claremont-ism I can think of: "Hi, everyone!"

And who's gonna be the first blogger to come up with the "Dave's Long Box Dangling Post Thread List"?

Chawunky said...

Wouldn't miss this--not for the world. There a law, chum, says articles 'n' verbs ain't for droppin' from sentences?

Wow. I look at that cover and wonder that anyone ever thought those costumes were a good idea, never mind cool.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I can't believe they stuck Rogue in mostly yellow. She looked so cool in green and black! And she wore that ugly costume FOREVER.

Speaking of yellow, whose bright idea was it to put Wolverine back in the yellow costume? My goodness, it's hideous. He used to look so cool, one of the few heroes who could pull off wearing mostly brown.

Cyclops doesn't look so bad, though if I was him I'd worry about blowing away any stray hairs that got in the way of the optic blasts. I guess that's one way to keep the front of your hair short. And what does he keep in all those pockets, anyway? Snacks?

My word verification-hopto. A high-jumping, frog-like alien who fights the Starjammers.

The comment posters on Dave's Long Box-HEROES. Dave himself-A LEGEND.

jeff King said...

"focused totality of my blogging powers" - Has anyone warned gooogle about this?

Andy said...

The prospect of an X-Men week at Dave's Longbox fills me with such incomprehensible cosmic rapture that...I hurt. I think I need a brew...

Brian Mac said...

"I can't believe they stuck Rogue in mostly yellow."

It's the leather jacket that bugs me -- even at the time, it did. All the X-Men wore them for a while, during the period when even Black Knight and Captain America were wearing leather jackets over chain mail, but only Rogue wore hers consistently.

Oh, and to make it official, I'll send this comment into a world that hates and fears it. But you'll always be able to tell where it's been.

Angry Android said...

So much X-Men... Can you truly fit it in one week? Me, I love the Lee/Claremont run where they were fighting each other for space on the page. This way you can have Rogue beating the tar out of a Brood while having a Shakesperean-level interior monologue go about in her head. Seriously, it takes longer to read the dialogue/thought balloons than the action that's taking place within the panels!

Dan Coyle said...

Best Cyclops story was X-Factor #14, where he single handedly beat down the Master Mold into little bits and pieces. BOSS!

Dweeze said...

Are we finally going to find out the true identity of the Third Dave's Long Box Brother?

Anonymous said...

Any chance that the mediocrity of X-Men 2099 will make an appearance? I was looking through my collection and noticed that I own every issue of this series...and remembered nothing about it.
I tried to make it through the first year's worth and couldn't keep my eyes open.
To use a Lobdellism: In words of one syllable -- dull.

Jude said...

Only one week!

You can cover the xmen for as long as you like dave!

Lay of him guys, "he may be a jerk but he's our jerk"

Can you post the panel where cyclops says "no dice pal, thats my riff" cos I can't remember why he says it but I remember it because I didn't understand it and its stuck with me forever.

SpiritGlyph said...

Those are the Claremontism you folks can come up with? For shame!

"Ah'm nigh invulnerable in mah bloggin' field!"

"By the Blog Goddess!"

"To me, my X-Men week!"

"Oh my stars and Long Boxes."

Okay, so the last two might not be valid, but the point is, there are a LOT of Claremontisms. Be creative.

Keith said...

Clearly, Dave, your blogging power is a song within you.

Chawunky said...

"Yeah, I can't believe they stuck Rogue in mostly yellow. She looked so cool in green and black! And she wore that ugly costume FOREVER.

Speaking of yellow, whose bright idea was it to put Wolverine back in the yellow costume? My goodness, it's hideous. He used to look so cool, one of the few heroes who could pull off wearing mostly brown."

Yes and hell yes. Those '90s colors sear the eye. Me, I'll take Wolverine & Rogue's introductory romp through the Tokyo underworld in Uncanny #173, thanks.

My life. My risk. (or is that the other way around?)

andy said...

"Dave's Longbox is now mine, body and soul!"

Chris Keels said...

Dave, you're a blogger after my own heart.


(uh, that was a Claremontism, people... Just sayin'...)

--Chris K

Anonymous said...

This is the week when Dave's Long Box will...


Oh, wait. Crap! Sorry everyone!

Ow, God. My memory hurts now...with a vengeance!!!

tenzil said...

"Okay, so the last two might not be valid, but the point is, there are a LOT of Claremontisms. Be creative."

That's true, chum.

X-Men Week will be over faster than the human eye can follow. Dave's leader- he knows best. I hope.

Welcome to X-Men Week, Longbox fans! Hope you survive the experience.

joe shakespeare said...

bang, all other blogs this week. you dead.

Dan Coyle said...

I thought I was the third Dave's Long Box Brother!

pop_aristocrat said...

God *sniff* we all love Cyclops so much.

It makes me want to look up to the sky, scream, and send an optic blast into space, from the power of my emotions.

These ruby lenses can't hold back my emotion!

philip said...

um . . . BAMF? That was me teleporting over every day looking for the newest entry. And I don't even like the X-Men. That's how much I love Dave and his box that is long.

Anonymous said...

A whole week of X-Men?

Geez, Dave. You're strong, but not invulnerable.

leagueofnowhere said...

We must be cautious of Dave, for blogging corrupts, and absolute blogging corrupts ABSOLUTELY!

And Dave is no longer the blogger we knew! Now he is BLOGGING INCARNATE! Now and forever, he is DAVE!

KDBryan said...

You cannot stop Dave, the Master of Blognetism! His blognetic fields can stop the mightiest of flames! X-Men Week is all but assured!

plok said...

So many Claremontisms spring to mind, but I swore an oath never to use them again, and I can't -- won't -- betray that trust.

Looking forward to this, but I have my doubts about its outcome...

Oh, what?


Okay, forget I said anything, then...

Len said...

I just *know* I'm going to be looking in here every day now for the next week.

*Sigh* My choice. My funeral.

SanctumSanctorumComix said...

By Sharra and K'ythri,

All Hail

D'Ave C'Ampbell

Imperial Majestor
of the L'ong Bo'x...

Long may he reign!

So sayeth I,

So sayeth we all!


W'ord Veri'Fication:

the Shi'ar term for the useless apostrophe.

Andy said...

"It makes me want to look up to the sky, scream, and send an optic blast into space, from the power of my emotions."

Pop_aristocrat speaks truth, for the eyes are windows to the soul. Can Dave's Long Box bear to look upon it?!

Augie De Blieck Jr. said...

This will be a Pyrrhic Victory, in the end.

Wait, I think that comic was scripted by Fabian Nicieza as Claremont was on his way out. Crap!

I think I'll skip over this week of posts and wait for the inevitable trade paperback after the storyline completes. If it ever does. . .

Dale Cruse said...

In this blog post... Dave quits the team!

call me jack... said...


Cole Moore Odell said...

Blogging the X-Men this week is Dave's malefic destiny.

Steve said...

Cutting through the Internet like a hot Dave through Blogger.

Anonymous said...

children of the atom indeed

Hoosier X said...

Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave!

Can you blog, just once, on how stupid '60s X-Men were?

like that secene in X-Men #7 where Hank and Bobby go to a coffee house and the beatniks start worhipping Hank's feet? They're going to call themselves "The Barefoot Beats" and they paint a face on his foot???

Oh my God!!!

Just one, Dave! PLEEEEEEEZE!

Jude said...

Dave blogs with a speed that belies his size and form!!!

SanctumSanctorumComix said...


I just noticed in the top cast illustration how Colossus is taking in the fullness of Storm's Breasts and has a little smile on his face.

Or...in shades of Ultimate Piotr...he's checking out the fullness of Cyclops' breasts.

Either / or.

Just sayin'


word verification:


Russian term for bodacious ta-ta's!

Lenin's Tomb! Vill you look at those Opnequv!
Boshe Moi!

uh...or looking at it AGAIN...
He could be getting "Steel Hard" near Wolverine's hidey-hole and Logan's thinking; "Hey, Bub! I know you're having a rough time waiting for Kitty to be of legal age, but c'mon! I can smell your spoor! And that BETTER not be the Fuzzy-Elf's TAIL there too! Damn, I need a brew!"

SanctumSanctorumComix said...

oops...posted that last comment to the wrong entry.

More Fool I!


Anonymous said...

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