Friday, April 14, 2006

PASSOVER Maximum Press,1996



A happy Passover to all my Jewish homies out there. In honor of the holiday, I present the comic Passover, from Maximum Press and the year 1996.

I got this comic back in the day so that one day I could teach my daughters the story of the Jews’ deliverance from bondage. Imagine my surprise when I found that Passover the comic and Passover the holiday have very little in common. I know, you’d think I would have figured that out by the cover alone. I thought maybe they were just embellishing the Passover story a little with the scary angel with the bloody axe. You know, jazz it up for the kids.

But no.

Apparently this comic is about the Angel of Death, who is responsible for the ten plagues that afflicted Egypt and goes by the name Passover.

That is stupid. That’s his name? Passover? What did all the other angels call him before the ten plagues? I guess Passover is a better choice than Lord of Boils or Frogsummoner, but still – lame.

Passover the comic book character first appeared in Avengylene #2, which I do not have. Some day I will plug that hole in my collection. Apparently Maximum thought that Passover was worthy of his own one-shot, and so here it is.

I’m not going to bore you or myself by recapping the story, but I will take a bunch of panels out-of-context for comedic purposes, making the comic look even dumber than it is. Dave’s Long Box: Fair & Balanced.

I take issue with Passover’s whole look. Sure, he has a gold helmet that makes him look all imposing, and he has butch glowing red eyes, but that’s where the coolness starts and stops.


The rest of him? He has big fluffy dove wings and wears a skirt over his pants. He’s got this weird bib thing going on, and he stole Thor’s boots. It’s not a flattering ensemble. Below Passover demonstrates a new cheer routine he cooked up with some of the other angels. Bring it on, Passover!


I like to think that Passover is doing his routine to the eighties aerobic wave hit “Dancing in Heaven” by Q-Feel.

And what the hell, does Passover have cute little ears on his helmet? Little nubbins? Tiny little goat horns? Please God, tell me what those things are!


I’m going to use that line the next time I want to get off the phone: “Mom, I’d love to talk but I gotta go – a great evil has been reawakened.” It’s better than “the steaks are burning, bye!”

As a matter of fact, Passover has a lot of quality dialogue that would translate well into cocktail party banter:


Happy Passover, y'all!


“They tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat
They tried to kill us, we were faster on our feet
So they chase us to the border
There's a parting of the water
Tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat”


-What I Like About Jew, “They Tried To Kill Us”

48 comments:

philip said...

Attended my first Seder just last night (so now I'm half-Jewish, right?) so this comic was perfect for today. Did he fight "The Pharoah"? Force-feed him bitter herb and a boiled egg? Okay, sorry, just showing off my newfound Jewosity.

Mazel tov! Or something.

kjmrcr said...

Did they ever release that team up issue with Tom Kippur?

word verification: vrhrefqu? vrhrefqu? no, vrhrefQU!

Scott said...

"Belongeth" ?? That's worst than Thor-speak

Verity Kindle said...

I only see one panel is which Passover is wearing pants under his skirt. In the other one, he seems to be going commando. I just thought I'd point that out. I'm rooting for you, Passover! Fight for the Most High, but for all of our sakes, put on a cup and a jockstrap before you go squish more hellspawn.

Anonymous said...

Passover. Weird. Just got through your Velvet Marauder archive. Good stuff, looking forward to more.

Dan Coyle said...

What the HELL is up with that font? At first glance it's nigh unreadable. I remember when I read Celestine (with the creative team of- no foolin'- Warren Ellis, Pat Lee, and Mike S. Miller) EVERYONE in the book talked like that. Yikes!

Haole said...

Ah, Passover, a comic so obscure it failed to make it into the Grand Comics Database Project. Perhaps it does not belongeth.

Who was the, uh, creative team behind Passover the comic?

SanctumSanctorumComix said...

"...?"

missbhavens said...

Oy.

Actually, I much prefer "Frogsummoner".

Adrian said...

I'm amused by the fact that Passover has such a huge-ass loincloth. Overcompensating much?

Anonymous said...

I think Passover is the name he adopted as an adult. As a kid angel he was PickedLastForSports.

gwalla said...

That's no loincloth. He just had to get out of the bathtub to answer the phone, and wrapped a towel around his waist.

bostonpenguincat said...

Passover and Good Friday
in tag team action Vs. ARR-borday
and Killer (C)Kanukah!

What'ch gonna do brother?

Happy Holidays.

Bully said...

I first read that panel as "Allow me to demon-strate."

I thought, "That is the stupidest pun ever made in a comic book."

Later I realized, "Oh, it was you, brain, who made that pun."

Rasselas said...

Is it stupid to wonder whether Passover is part of a super-team with Easter?

Chris Sims said...

Hey Campbell, did you hear that song on Fresh Air, too, or is it just me?

Eric said...

Nope, I heard it on Fresh Air, too. And how long will it be until Terry Gross comes knocking on your door, Dave? As for me and my house, I think we'll try and track down a copy of Passover and read it while drinking a sixpack of He'Brew. L'chaim!

Pop_aristocrat said...

WOW! On the cover, the blood dripping off his axe is so heavy that it's breaking a chunk off of the ledge of the building! That must be special demon blood or something.

Also, I realize that the panels were taken out of context, but that has to be the weakest closing shot of any comic ever. "I saved you" "What about my friend" "He had to die, sorry. GOD RULES!!" The End.
Deneumont? Who friggin' needs it?

corbiscide said...

The angel of death is so much cooler than Passed-over. This is another time comic versions of religious and myth characters suck. (The recent Atlas and Samson in Superman. Also Hermes in Wonder Woman, Thor in Supreme. Gilgamesh.) This does sound like something you could document Dave

David Cutler said...

Frogsummoner's the best thing I've ever heard.

Macavity said...

"Belongeth unto God"?????
Oh well, at the right guy died!

Does anyone else think that "Angel of Death" as a job description is intimidating without the flashy name? I mean, if he was, "George the ANGEL OF DEATH!!!" I'd still be cautious around him. Say I'm all planning to desecrate the Ark of the Covenant, and some funny-looking dud with wings pops up, and I say, "Who are you?" and he says, "Passover". I'm all thinking... no... it's mid-September. If he says, "The Angel of Death", I'm suddenly thinking, dman, bad time to violate the sacred. Just my thought...

arizonateach said...

That last panel was the stupidest thing I ever read. I mean, really. Everyone knows that real ultimate power belongeth to ninjas and not God.

Skipper Pickle said...

(with the creative team of- no foolin'- Warren Ellis, Pat Lee, and Mike S. Miller)

Wow. That's just.... wow.

i had no idea.

Mark Hale said...

"David, can you come over and help us move some things around in the garden? We've got some lovely new stones and -- "

"True power belongeth unto God, Mom. Let him move your rocks."

David Campbell said...

Sorry, late response. Yes, I heard "What I Like About Jew" on Fresh Air - or as I like to call it, "Frrrrresh Air!"

Dara said...

This comic can't be nearly half as AWESOME as The Goddyssey, featuring Jesus vs. Greek gods (or some such bullshit.)

From Rob Liefeld, of course. No, for real.

Anonymous said...

Either this artist needs to go in for Remedial Movement-Line Training, or Passover's a bobblehead doll.

lori said...

And what the hell, does Passover have cute little ears on his helmet? Little nubbins? Tiny little goat horns? Please God, tell me what those things are!

Those are his Jew horns. Don't you remember that all Jews have little horns on their heads? You know, like the ones on that Moses statue by Michelangelo.

(In case anyone is wondering -- yes, this is a real supersition, and no, it's not true. But I've run into people who still believe it.)

Anonymous said...

well i hvnt found what i am even lukin 4!!!!

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