A happy Passover to all my Jewish homies out there. In honor of the holiday, I present the comic Passover, from Maximum Press and the year 1996.
I got this comic back in the day so that one day I could teach my daughters the story of the Jews’ deliverance from bondage. Imagine my surprise when I found that Passover the comic and Passover the holiday have very little in common. I know, you’d think I would have figured that out by the cover alone. I thought maybe they were just embellishing the Passover story a little with the scary angel with the bloody axe. You know, jazz it up for the kids.
Apparently this comic is about the Angel of Death, who is responsible for the ten plagues that afflicted Egypt and goes by the name Passover.
That is stupid. That’s his name? Passover? What did all the other angels call him before the ten plagues? I guess Passover is a better choice than Lord of Boils or Frogsummoner, but still – lame.
Passover the comic book character first appeared in Avengylene #2, which I do not have. Some day I will plug that hole in my collection. Apparently Maximum thought that Passover was worthy of his own one-shot, and so here it is.
I’m not going to bore you or myself by recapping the story, but I will take a bunch of panels out-of-context for comedic purposes, making the comic look even dumber than it is. Dave’s Long Box: Fair & Balanced.
I take issue with Passover’s whole look. Sure, he has a gold helmet that makes him look all imposing, and he has butch glowing red eyes, but that’s where the coolness starts and stops.
The rest of him? He has big fluffy dove wings and wears a skirt over his pants. He’s got this weird bib thing going on, and he stole Thor’s boots. It’s not a flattering ensemble. Below Passover demonstrates a new cheer routine he cooked up with some of the other angels. Bring it on, Passover!
I like to think that Passover is doing his routine to the eighties aerobic wave hit “Dancing in Heaven” by Q-Feel.
And what the hell, does Passover have cute little ears on his helmet? Little nubbins? Tiny little goat horns? Please God, tell me what those things are!
I’m going to use that line the next time I want to get off the phone: “Mom, I’d love to talk but I gotta go – a great evil has been reawakened.” It’s better than “the steaks are burning, bye!”
As a matter of fact, Passover has a lot of quality dialogue that would translate well into cocktail party banter:
Happy Passover, y'all!
“They tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat
They tried to kill us, we were faster on our feet
So they chase us to the border
There's a parting of the water
Tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat”
-What I Like About Jew, “They Tried To Kill Us”