Friday, October 28, 2005

THE F*@% YEAH FILES #7: Avengers visit Ultron without an appointment


If I had access to a Wayback Machine and could travel through time, there are a number of things I would do:

1) I would make sure that Kevin Maguire did all the artwork for the Captain America: Sentinel of Liberty mini-series, instead of just the first three issues.
2) I would steal and burn Young Dave’s piano key scarf so that he could never ever wear it again.
3) I would stop Terri Garr from acting again after Tootsie.
4) I would prevent Young Dave from actually standing in line to see Independence Day.
5) I would provide the Spartans at Thermopylae with repeating carbines and grenades, just for fun.
6) And I would make sure that George Perez drew tighter pencils in The Avengers #22.

I don’t know what it is about this issue, but it lacks the clean, tight artwork that I’m accustomed to from George Perez. The art looks rushed and scratchy. Perez is credited with “breakdowns” for this issue and Al Vey is credited with “finished art,” so that might be the problem. Vey inked over Perez’s pencils for most of the Busiek/Perez era, and I always thought the stuff looked great, but perhaps in the crush of looming deadlines Perez only had time for looser pencils. The rendering and composition looks great, but there’s a rough quality to the work that throws me off.

Why would I care? Because The Avengers #22 has like, one of the most kick-ass scenes of any Avengers comic ever! I just think it deserves the full-on Perez magic, that’s all.

The Avengers #22 is the big climax to the Ultron storyline, in which a team of Avengers fights to save their comrades from the clutches of the monstrous robot. In previous issues The Avengers have had to invade the nation of Slorenia (which Ultron has pretty much destroyed), repel a horde of undead cyborgs, slay a giant Ultron robot, and then fight pretty much every model and variant of Ultron that has ever existed. After all that, the battle-weary Avengers bust through a wall and face The Big Boss:

That's a good line, but then Thor can make anything sound cool. "Verily, good man, fill the God of Thunder's tank with five dollars worth of precious petrol from pump number five!"

You know, that’s the thing about Dramatic Entrances – you have to earn them. I remember reading some X-Men comics long ago – I think it was the Xtinction Agenda or something, the one when they were all trapped in Genosha – and there was like, a dramatic entrance or rescue every other page. It was the superheroic equivalent of a horror movie where somebody gets killed every 45 seconds. I ask you, would that be a scary movie? No. No, it would not.

I think there’s a lot to be said for the old-fashioned storytelling values of pacing, varying the tone, building up to a climax, and making the reader invest emotionally in your story. This Avengers storyline accomplishes that – when the rescue team of Avengers finally busts in on Ultron, damn it, you are PSYCHED! Psyched, damn it!

That’s why this scene gets a special kid-friendly magical happy F*$% YeaH!


51 comments:

Tony Fering said...

The best part about this f*@% yeah moment is that Black Panther is the only one (besides Mr."I've got cool armor" Iron Man) whose clothes are not battle-shredded (not a real word but it works). That's a coolblackbrother F*@% YEAH!!!

PaulyD said...

I thought Ron Garney did the first three issues of Cap: Sentinel of Liberty.

David Campbell said...

It was Maguire, although I should say that the full title was: "The Adventures of Captain America, Sentinel of Liberty."(1991) It ruled. Well, 3/4 of it ruled anyway.

Dan Coyle said...

"Ultron Unlimited" rocked damn hard.

Shane Bailey said...

I never read this. I'll have to pick up the trade. From that panel I agree with you about Perez's pencils not being very tight. Wasn't he having health problems around that time?

Bill Reed said...

I knew this moment would show up eventually.

But yeah, that art is quite bleh.

Anonymous said...

that was kind of a lame f*@% year moment. and I guess i must have a different memory of the x-tinction agenda.

jake said...

I will always think of 1995 as my lame f*@% year...

Tycho B. said...

Hey Dave...

Some time after you get a few more F*@% Yeahs off your chest, why not do some of comics' greatest OH S#!T moments.. Stuff like the last panel of Thunderbolts #1 when Zemo reveals himself.

Just a thought.

kelvingreen said...

See, Busiek and Perez give us this, and Bendis gives us twelve months of jaw-flapping.

Busiek wrote the coolest Thor, he really did.

F*@% YEAH!!!

kelvingreen said...

Oh, and I second the OH S#!T idea. Some great ones in there, although you'll have to avoid Ozymandias in Watchmen, because everyone does that.

Bill said...

And then he says, "Are you retarded? I'm goddamn Ultron!"

Solario said...

I too support the Oh S£!t idea. If you're looking for something newer, what about a certain revelation on the last page of Runaways Season 1 #16?

philip said...

I would also welcome a "Bullsh!t" or "Oh no you di'n't" category in which you feature moments of unbelievable crap in what should be good books ("I'm the god damned Batman!", etc.). I suppose I could do it myself but I'm too f*@ing lazy to start my own blog.

Motodd said...

Or -- hell -- just keep up the good work. Good stuff everyday.

Anonymous said...

Totally with you on Maguire's Cap series, but as for No. 3, "I would stop Terri Garr from acting again after Tootsie," I have two words for you: After Hours.

Edward Liu said...

Busiek certainly knows how to rip out a F*@% YEAH moment. One of my favorites from him is from the new Conan series, issue #5, when the Hyperborian revolution finally starts, and Conan storms out, sword in hand, and hollers to bring on the best they've got so he can kill them all.

And I didn't notice the thing with the Black Panther in this story, but that is hellaciously cool.

Captain Infinity said...

I'm a DC guy and read very few Marvel titles, but that one line from Thor has always stuck with me. F*@% YEAH, indeed.

simon said...

This moment was actually so "F*@% YEAH!" that the Falcon namedropped it as his favorite Avengers moment in the big Disassembled post-mortem issue.

Fully Airwolf.

doop82 said...

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kelvingreen said...

I think there might be a F*@% YEAH!!! moment in every Busiek Avengers issue that Thor appears in. Even his brief cameo in Busiek's last issue is cool; he just pays off all the Avengers' debts with a chunk of Asgardian gold, then buggers off to get drunk.

Winterteeth said...

Apparently this comic falls into my "lost years" wherein I did not collect comics due to peer pressure (when I realized most of my peers were vapid jackasses, I took a second look at my priorities). Is the Busiek/Perez run in Trade form? How long did it last? Are there any other high points to keep an eye out for?

JR said...

I miss The Avengers, or rather I miss Busiek's Avengers. To go from armies of Ultrons, nations of Hulks, Zombie invasions, and medievil wizards to a prison break and ninjas that Captian America has damn well handled on his own is a HUGE step down.

Dan Coyle said...

I remember Thor's F-Yeah moment in Avengers #1, when he's battlin' Doctor Doom in the flash back.

"If I am to spend an eternity fighting you... it is an eternity well spent!!

JR said...

Oh, and I know that everyone likes to put down the stuff from the nineties (myself included), but this reminds that there was actually quite a bit of good stuff coming out towards the end of the decade.
Roughly starting with Starman, but really getting into gear with Morrison's JLA, you all of a sudden had this era where practically everything was being written by Busiek (Avengers, Thunderbolts, Iron Man, Astro City), Waid (Ka-Zar, Captian America, Flash, JLA, JLA: Year One), Morrison (JLA, Invisibles, Flash), and Karl Kessel (Daredevil, Superboy, one of the Superman books, and some other stuff) and huge amount of it was really good.

Matthew Spatola said...

I'll have to go back and check but I thought Maguire did do all the art on thr series. If it wasn't him then who did it?

David Campbell said...

Matthew, I'm pretty sure Kevin West pencilled the fourth issue. It was such a let-down; I remember being so pissed when I got that comic. It still kind of pisses me off. I'd love to hear the story about what happened to that series - I still think of it as the biggest crash and burn wipe out nosedive plummet into the abyss throw quality out the window and say fuck it ending of any comic book series ever.

Winterteeth, this storyline is collected in the Ultron Unlimited trade paperback. If you're a continuity geek, I recommend Busiek & Pacheco's Avengers Forever trade. Busiek & Perez's stuff is also collected in the Morgan Conquest and the Supreme Justice trades. There's also one called Clear & Present Danger that collects some of the less cool stories from that era.

Bill Reed said...

Surprisingly enough, there were a few awesome "F*@% Yeah!" moments in Dan Jurgens' Thor run. I always liked the bit in #5 where, in his guise as EMT Jake Olson, Thor breaks the rules and does a procedure in the field, and when his partner tries to stop him, he shouts "I say thee nay!" Heh.

Oh, and in #25: The battered Thor gets back up and says only "Mangog." Turn the page, huge-ass splash page where Thor belts the dude, shouting "Have at thee!"

The whole series lost me shortly after that.

Woody! said...

Another great moment. Although, the magician really doesn't have the gravitas to pull off the F*@% Yeah.

kelvingreen said...

Winterteeth, the Busiek/Perez run is readily available in collected form (and back issues are pretty reasonable too, if you look around). There are even a couple of oversized hardbacks collecting a year's worth of issues each which are lovely to behold. The second one contains this Ultron storyline, as I recall.

JR, I miss the Avengers too. (sniff!)

kelvingreen said...

Oh, and Dan Coyle, you are correct sir. Totally Airwolf moment from Thor.


So they kill him off and replace him with the Sentry. Stupid Marvel.

Winterteeth said...

Thanks for the help guys, my spider-sense is saying "no food for you this month! Save up for some Avenging action." My spider-sense talks like Stan Lee.

Tim O'Neil said...

You better be planning a F*@% Yeah File entry for Marvel Two-In-One Annual #7.

Don't disappoint me.

Charlie Anders said...

I'm enjoying the fuck-yeah files, but it's been quite a while since you mocked some bad comics. I need to save up to buy you some issues of Angel Love or some Howard Mackie Ghost Rider.

Dan Coyle said...

Dave: Don't forget the other Busiek/Perez trades: Living Legends which collects issues #23-30, and Avengers/Thunderbolts Vol. 1: The Nefaria Protocols, which collects the T-Bolts crossover that wrapped up their run together.

It's out of print, but The Kang Dynasty, which is about Kang's all out assault- and VICTORY- over Earth- is fricking' amazing, 384 pages worth of F-Yeah moments.

Marvel's putting out Above and Beyond, which is the final collection of Busiek's massive Avengers run in January. Some good stuff in there, including The Ultron Imperative, the sequel to Ultron Unlimited.

Cove West said...

As cool as Busiek's AVENGERS was, it could have been Airwolf if he hadn't tried to shoehorn Justice, Firestar, and Triathlon into everything. Those guys were like nails on the chalkboard. Not bad characters, just not a very good fit with the "classic" aura Busiek was going for.

But it was Marvel's answer to Morrison's JLA. Except Marvel didn't seem to know it. DC turned JLA into the flagship, the cornerstone, of its late-90's revival. It brought into one title not only Morrison's creativity, but everything that was going on in the wider DCU, from the mainstream Big 7 titles to the more radical SANDMAN and STARMAN; in addition, it helped launch titles like Ostrander's MARTIAN MANHUNTER, Morrison/Millar's AZTEK, and Simonson's ORION, as well as reinvigorating the "icon team" like Robinson/Goyer/Johns' JSA and Grayson's ill-fated TITANS.

Busiek/Perez's AVENGERS, conversely, was kept in its own little corner of the Marvel Universe. That which it immediately spawned (such as Busiek's IRON MAN and Waid/Garney's 2nd CAPTAIM AMERICA) was quickly forgotten, nor was it allowed to bring a kind of cohesiveness to the MU. It was a title destined to become legendary and classic, but it sadly was not the flagship it should have been.

David F. Smith said...

It's weird how cool Thor can be in the right hands. Looked at from the wrong angle, he's this big dumb lug who needs a haircut and talks like the King James Version. From the right angle, he's the king of all awesome.

My number one Thor moment: when Warren Ellis had him finally say "screw it" (if you'll pardon the hideous pun) and nail the Enchantress. That was a good little reboot storyline, on the whole, which unfortunately wound up going absolutely nowhere..

On a totally unrelated "F*** YEAH" note, my favorite has to be the end of ELEKTRA: ASSASSIN. "And I'm the President. So I've got the box. Damn straight."

No, you meant to say, "F$%* YEAH."

DFS.

Anonymous said...

Cove West is correct

Andy said...

"I think there might be a F*@% YEAH!!! moment in every Busiek Avengers issue that Thor appears in. Even his brief cameo in Busiek's last issue is cool; he just pays off all the Avengers' debts with a chunk of Asgardian gold, then buggers off to get drunk."

The irony of this is that Busiek has supposedly received death threats from irate Thor fans who have always been convinced that Busiek hates Thor. It kind of started with the great "Thor: Bulletproof?" debate and hit a fever pitch after JLA/Avengers.

Peter said...

Heh, I remember the great Thor Bulletproof debate vividly, the message board I was visiting had a whole lot of animosity towards both Busiek and Brevoort. Mind you, a lot of people also disliked Busiek for bringing back Wonder Man and rehabilitating him.

Ah, comics, always with the cycles, and the pissed off people...

Hey, jr, I totally agree: the 90s, especially the late 90s, were full of good stuff. Priest's Black Panther, Kelly's Deadpool (and X-Men), Kelly's Action Comics, the Thunderbolts of course, even Ka-Zar was cool (yes, he beat Thanos, what of it? :p)

I started actively buying when Heroes Reborn started, and since then I've kept on spreading out into every corner of both the MU and the DCU. To think an event as insipid as HR could lead to someone amassing 14,000 comics (this includes Essentials, mind you) in about 9 years is... odd (but I'm glad it did though :D)

To Dan: I thought the Kang Dynasty storyline had good moments, but as a complete whole it was lacking because of stuff like Triathlon/the Triune thrown in for no good reason other than #50 was right there. It still beats New Avengers by a mile though. I *love* how we got two whole pages filled with the Silver Samurai standing ominously in the latest issue. If love means despise, of course. The freaking Silver Samurai, and we're supposed to go "uh oh"? I prefer the madness of having Cannonball beat Gladiator (anyone remember that? Joe Mad at its funnest :)) over the bloody Avengers being at all unnerved by a guy with a sword...

Brian Cronin said...

Teri Garr began showing signs of multiple sclerosis right after Tootsie.

So basically, you hate people with multiple sclerosis, you asshole!!!

Chris Arndt said...

I actually liked Gladiator getting his butt handed to him by Cannonball.

The idea that his powers are fueled by anything in any way that makes him different than Superman makes him all the more useful.

and I love Thor.

and I don't think he's bulletproof.

and I don't think it matters. I don't believe his durability is low enough that the argument should be an issue to fans. Stupid nerds.

David Campbell said...

I like that one issue where Terri Garr beats the crap out of Gladiator. See? I don't hate people with MS, you big meany, Cronin.

Wait a second - Thor's not bulletproof? I call bullshit on that. It's pistols at dawn, Arndt!

Next you guys are going to tell me Wonder Woman isn't bulletproof...

kelvingreen said...

I think Wonder Woman is bulletproof, but she just likes to deflect bullets with her bangles, ro something like that. I really don't know enough about the DCU to say for sure, but I've read something like that somewhere.

As for Thor, the point is, I think, that while he's not actually bulletproof, he's just such a double-hard bastard that it doesn't matter if he gets shot. He'll shrug it off now, and get it fixed up later. Like Nic Cage at the end of Con Air.

Sorry for mentioning Con Air.

Anonymous said...

Thor? Is bulletproof! Come on! Where does this stuff even come from, how can Thor not be bulletproof? Sub-Mariner's bulletproof, She-Thing's bulletproof, I think even Nova's bulletproof, and Thor isn't? Reed Richards is bulletproof, for god's sake!

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