Wednesday, October 26, 2005
THE F*@% YEAH FILES #6: "You're the one who tried to shoot the cat."
Sleep beckons to me like a lover, inviting me into her bed to um, sleep with her. Sleep is a beautiful woman that I cannot touch. Sleep is Rogue and Dave is Gambit, but without the annoying cajun patois.
Anyway, I'm sleepy and lazy so I'll make this quick.
This post is about the big F*$% Yeah moment in Batman: Year One Part 3, brought to us by the Team Supreme of Frank "The Tank" Miller and David "I can draw kick ass flashlights without resorting to stupid lens flare effects like all you young punks" Mazzuchelli.
If you haven't read and enjoyed Year One, you hate freedom and are possibly a terrorist. I'm not going to bother with recapping the entire plot for all the freedom-loving folks out there; I'll just set up the scene:
The cops want Batman dead. They corner him in an abandoned building and drop a bomb on it. A SWAT team from the thoroughly corrupt Gotham City Police searches through the ruins for their wounded quarry. Things don't look good for our hero:
He takes a bullet for a cat! That's almost a F*$% Yeah moment right there.
We have a cat named Po. I tell people she's named after either the Teletubbie or the Italian river - it depends who I'm talking to. She walks on me when I'm sleeping and will suddenly, inexplicably go insane and attack my hand when I'm petting her. Despite her weirdness, I love that cat --
-- and there is no way in hell I would take a bullet for her.
That, my friends, is heroism: getting shot while saving a cat that you don't even know.
And believe me, Batman is plenty pissed about it.
Here's a tip: do not shoot cats in front of Batman. He will punch you through a fucking brick wall.
Oh, F*$% YEAH! That's so awesome that even the people in the comic cheer. Then, a poisonous fluttering of wings, and a mother cries: "Here comes the KING BATS!"
"...and the screaming starts again."
After punching that would-be-cat-killer through a brick wall, Batman makes his escape from the cops under a cloud of flapping, fluttering bats. It was such a good scene that David Goyer cribbed it for Batman Begins. I can't really blame him.
Batman vs. cat hater. Winner: Batman.
Hey, white world-music guy! How about a F*$% Yeah?