Saturday, April 16, 2005

Lame-ass villain #3 - Man-Elephant

The Man-Elephant is one of those characters that is so lame you just cannot believe somebody came up with them - until you realize that said character appears in a book called The Savage She-Hulk. Puts it in perspective, doesn't it?

First appearing in 1981 in The Savage She-Hulk #17, the Man-Elephant was Manfred Haller, an inventor and hydraulic inventor who created a suit of rubberized power armor that used advanced hydraulics to increase the wearer's strength.* Here's where they lose me: Haller designs the suit to look like an elephant, complete with tusks and a grappling trunk.

What the fuck...? Why would you do that? That's like GM designing a new SUV and deciding, "You know what? We should go one step further and spend a ton of money to decorate this vehicle like a big rhino!"

To prove the suit's power, Man-Elephant takes on She-Hulk and beats her up for a while before having a change of heart. You see, Haller realizes his elephant suit could be used for evil. Or at the very least cheapened by tractor-pull demonstrations at county fairs.

I would be embarassed if I was a hero and I got my ass handed to me by Man-Elephant. You should probably just hang up the spandex at that point. But, She-Hulk is resilient, so she soldiers on. You'd have to be a trooper, really, if you were a woman that everyone called "She-Hulk." From where I come from, that's a rude thing to say to a lady.

*My thanks to The Appendix to the Handbook of the Marvel Universe for actually having a Man-Elephant entry. God bless the people that took the time to put that together.


Anonymous said...

Is it wrong that I find that picture arousing?

Greg said...

You know if Bendis got his hands on Man-Elephant, he'd turn him into a child rapist who gets his jollies by rubbing jell-o all over his body. And then Captain America would kill him.

David Campbell said...

You know, I might actually read that...

Woody! said...

It puts the lotion on the skin, or else it gets the elephant's trunk again.

David Campbell said...

Woodmania wins.

Mikey said...

It's a clunky sort of a name, what's wrong with plain old Elephant-ma...


Mister Sinister said...

In this issue Shulk fights Man-Elephant.

The fact that someone created a She-Hulk is good, but her villains
ALWAYS SUCKED. You could fill this category of Lame-Asses with them all.

Word-I guy that can control people by talking vigorously into a mic

Ultima- Word's steroid addicted daughter.

Grappler- Uses super-crowbar to use super-leverage (Scourge victim)

Any Scourge victim could be lame-ass
because they all were


"the sound a Man-Elephant makes after just existing too long.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to go out on a limb here, and guess that Manfred Haller's favorite childhood character was Babar. Just a hunch.

I also bet that She-Hulk invited Man-Elephant back to the She-House after the battle. I mean, look at the size of that trunk.

Anonymous said...

Given that the movie The Elephant Man came out in October of 1980, I'm going to guess that "Man-Elephant" was some smartass writer's attempt at a topical play on words. If so, it wasn't a joke that aged well.

Anonymous said...

^^ nice blog!! ^@^

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