Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Shameless self-promotion: New Cracked article!

Yo, check it out: The 7 Most Underrated Movie Henchman, my latest article for the fine folks at Included on my list are such unappreciated greats as Maximillian from The Black Hole and Snake Walker (above) from The Muppet Movie.


Edward Liu said...

I thought the end-bit with Maximillian's eyeballs in "The Black Hole" was revealing that Max was not really a robot, but a person trapped inside a suit, just like all the other "robots" on the Cygnus.

apk said...

thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you for giving Col. Tavington his long over due "props" as a total villainous badass!

You! So you're The Ghost are you? I remember you! That farm, that stupid little boy. Tell me, did he die? Hmm?


Dave Campbell- thou arst my hero.

Jeff Hebert said...

That was hysterical. Thanks for posting it Dave, I got a huge kick out of it. I loved Maximillian in that movie, he gave me the willies. And I fear blow-dried crazy hair to this day. That's probably why I'm bald.

Elisabeth said...

I secretly root for Tavington in The Patriot--he's just so cold and arrogant to those uppity rebels. And the scene where he knocks back some wine after the colonials blow up Cornwallis' ship gets me every time.

Great article! :D

Matthew said...

Ah, Mr Igoe gets a mention! Result!

Mike Podgor said...

Is every Internet humorist working for Cracked, now?

Anonymous said...

That Tough German Dude is hardcore, but you know that he's not as sweet as Indy, because when his hat flies off, he barely even gives a shit. No way would Indy ever let his hat fly off like that. Kicking ass is just a hollow pursuit unless you've got the proper head gear.

Anyway, I've always loved that scene. Good write-up.

Anonymous said...

Holy crap, that was an awesome list. I remember Max and the Snake Walker scaring the hell out of me when I was young.

Wez deserves the top spot, however. How many movies, TV shows, and pro wrestlers over the past 26 years have ripped off that look?

Tom the Bomb said...

Some of my favorite villains in here! I just wish Mr. Igoe had gotten more play - he's my favorite non-Bond movie Bond henchman.

Anonymous said...

You lost a point for using both Maximillian and "The Black Hole", but got the point back for the swiss army knife crack.



Quilty said...

Maximillian scared the heck out of me as a kid -- not as much as the scene where he and Reinhart mate in space, though (right before the clip).

Anonymous said...

Well, I'll be dipped, I've actually seen all those movies. I think that's a first in the history of Dave Campbell movie lists. And dig this: I saw Rob Roy in the theater. This was in Mississippi, and one of the good ol' boys actually hollered out "Hay-ell, yeah" when Tim Roth got his.

And ya know, the only bad thing at all about The Muppet Movie is how bad the following Muppet movies are in comparison. Mel Brooks as a Nazi mad scientist, you can't beat that.

Bill D. said...

The kiddo is more or less obsessed with The Muppet Movie, so I've seen it dozens of times in the past few months, and I do have to agree that Snake Walker is pretty badass. And like Boba Fett, he achieves that effect without ever getting to do anything particularly badass on screen. One look, and you just know he's the guy.

Tim Easy said...

Another excellent job, Dave! I always knew Wez would have his day in the sun, sooner or later!

Who can forget his classic line, "You! You can run! But you can't hide!"

It's a line topped only by Max's "...I saw a vehicle that'll haul that tanker...if you wanna get outta here, you talk to me."

Anonymous said...

Good stuff, Dave. Snake Walker wore a head-condom before head-condoms were cool. Oh, wait--they were never cool. (And yes, I'm looking at you, Gambit.) But at least Snake offset his by adding a pimpish hat.

And I completely agree about Tavington, That Tough German Dude, and Wez.

I'd kinda like to see a list of "Chicks in Movies That You Wanted Someone to Schtup, But It Didn't Happen". And coming in at my personal #1 would be Virginia Hey in The Road Warrior.

lazy_cg said...

thank you for introducing me to the wonderful site that is cracked.

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