Thursday, September 08, 2005

Great Moments in Boob War History #1 - She-Hulk's Wardrobe Malfunction

Since Boob War Week seems to be a big hit with the kids, I thought I'd introduce a new feature here at Dave's Long Box: "Great moments in Boob War History." It's a way of celebrating remarkable achievements in the Boob War field and honoring those creators who have helped lift mankind's spirits and have spoken to the better angels inside all of us, simply by drawing superhero boobs.

Our first installment is this classic panel from John Byrne's 1985 She-Hulk graphic novel. After being captured, then probed and experimented on (while naked) by unscrupulous SHIELD agents on board the helicarrier, She-Hulk makes her escape, wearing only a lab coat around her impressive physique. A SHIELD agent unloads a clip of bullets into She-Hulk's bosom, but the only damage is to the lab coat. We get our first and perhaps only glimpse (outside of unlicensed fan porn) of She-Hulk's nipples.

Young Dave studied this panel intensely back in 1985.

Whoomp! There it is! The first Great Moment in Boob War History!

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

You have no idea how many search engine hits I get from people looking for She-hulk porn. Hopefully now all those people will find your site instead.

I expect my traffic to drop by about 65%.

thekelvingreen said...

I've seen She-Hulk porn. It's not pretty.

I have this graphic novel somewhere. I think I paid about 50p for it, the fools!

Shon Richards said...

She-Hulk porn usually strays into cross-gender play. It was the first time I really bought into the idea that female versions of super-heroes were romantic stand ins for the originals.

As for Great Moments in Boob War, this is a fine start.

Nik said...

That whole graphic novel was responsible for my awakening from a young geeky boy into a young geeky man.

Anonymous said...

Byrne claims that wasn't in his original pencils but added by the inker Kim Demulder (a guy named Kim!). I would assume Boob War thanks him. Thanks Kim him.

Anonymous said...

Actually, that GN pretty much IS She-Hulk porn...

Ian said...

I remember reading on a certain message baord how this one guy takes pictures of his wife, sends them through Photoshop and turns his wife green all for his She-Hulk fasciantion (read: fetish).

I still think about that guy every once in a while.

Anonymous said...

Ah, the She-Hulk graphic novel, how well I remember it. My copy is certainly well-worn, and would likely fall open to that very page if casually tossed onto a table.

Hey, I was 12 in 1985. To me, it was porn!

Jon Silpayamanant said...

honoring those creators who have helped lift mankind's spirits

I'll bet it took gamma-powered restraint not to tweak that phrase a little bit, eh?

Anonymous said...

Were the early Marvel Graphic Novels code-approved? Seems to me they might have had ever-so-slightly more "adult" content than the regular Marvel comics of the time (though nothing that anybody would bat an eye at today, or probably even then.)

thekelvingreen said...

No Comics Code logo on the She-Hulk graphic novel at least.

Anonymous said...

There's no code approval on the 80s Marvel GNs I've got. Greenberg the Vampire, for one, has a bit o' cussin' and nipplage.

Hey, here's another one for boob war, or a Shooter week: The Aladdin Effect. A little girl's town is taken hostage by A.I.M. to harvest her mutant superpowers, and she teleports She-Hulk, Storm, Tigra, and Wasp into town.

Shooter continues his... unusual fixation on the Wasp with this GN, in one scene having her strapped to a fence and beaten by a group of thugs. In lingerie.

Martin Wisse said...

Which reminds me of Byrne's Fantastic Four issue where Shulkie is caught au naturel by a sleazy magazine, which was quite ...stimulating as well, not to mention Byrne's later "joke" about She-Hulk skipping rope in the nude....

Anonymous said...

A story Byrne said that was inspired entirely by a Kevin Nowlan pin-up of Shulkie topless and lying on her stomach sunbathing in an issue of Marvel Fanfare.

That issue had one of the stupidest endings ever: the magazine printers thought the pictures of She-Hulk were a coloring error, so they recolored it to look like caucasian brunette. I kinda think the mag owner, after being nearly beaten up by the subject of his centerfold, would have made the point to his printers that a woman with green skin was NOT a coloring error.

Edward Liu said...

Clearly, lola, you don't understand men. Either that, or you're unashamed of your own greenist attitudes.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of She-Hulk's breasts, anyone notice the double page spread in House of M this week? And I do mean spread.

Anonymous said...

They do, indeed, spread wide.

And wasn't the F4 issue the one where Shulkie makes a joke about the staple in her navel? I don't think the F4 Visionaries TPB series has gotten to that point yet, has it? Pity.

I was going to Boob War nominate that UNCANNY X-MEN issue that Jim Lee drew of Rogue running around with Miss Marvel (?) inside of her, but I don't remember if there's much boob in it -- just a spare t-shirt to cover the basics. . .

Anonymous said...

If memory serves, this is the story where She-Hulk is forced to strip at gunpoint, yes? And they wonder why women don't read superhero comics.

Marionette said...

Shooter continues his... unusual fixation on the Wasp with this GN, in one scene having her strapped to a fence and beaten by a group of thugs. In lingerie.

Why were the thugs in lingerie?

Tom the Dog said...

I don't know, buddy. I'm seeing shadows from her shredded clothes, not nips. I think you're just a big wishful-thinking pervo.

Anonymous said...

"Why were the thugs in lingerie?"

It was college and they were experimenting.

Anonymous said...

Marionette: I meant the Wasp was in lingerie.

And shouldn't you be off with Commander Rann in the Microverse somewhere?

Patrick Gaffney said...

Did you catch She-hulk's lastest entry into boob wars in House of M:

http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b224/tonyfleecs/shehulk_fully.jpg

Anonymous said...

My favorite She-Hulk moment occured in an issue of The Avengers printed in the late 1970s (I'm NOT going to rumage through my collection in the basement to get the exact date!) Anyhow, Hulkie had recently joined the Avengers for the first time and Jan, the Wasp, is making her model some clothes she designed just for the green woman. Wouldn't you know a group of supervillians chose that moment to attack Avenger's mansion. She-Hulk is about to run outside and pound some villianous butt when Jan shreiks that she is NOT going to ruin her very expensive original dress battling those knuckelheads. She-Hulk grumbles, then takes off the dress and runs outside in her black lace bra and panties to join the fight! One of the bad guys does a double take, then comments,"What the!? Are we fightin' Fredricks of Hollywood or somethin'?" (The fact the Victoria's Secret wasn't mentioned gives you an idea how old this comic was).
BTW, doesn't "She-Hulk" have to rate as the Worst moniker ever for a good character?

Bluto

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