Thursday, July 21, 2005
Superhero Tactics 101: Neck Ramming
Today we're beginning a new feature here at Dave's Long Box, Superhero Tactics 101, which will spotlight different combat maneuvers used by superheroes in an effort to better understand, and thus mock them.
When you're a superhero, sometimes shit gets crazy. Sometimes, when you really need to take that sonuvabitch villain down, when you really need to get the job done - that's right...
...you have to ram them with your neck!
The classic Neck Ramming maneuver is fairly simple. The hero flies at high speed at the target, head down, and rams the target with the back of his/her neck. That's about it.
It never works.
I know. It came as a shock to me, too. But after extensive research into Neck Ramming, I discovered that never - not once, ever- has any superhero put a villain down by Neck Ramming them. The statistics are grim for Neck Ramming advocates. Better news on the henchman front, though; studies show that Neck Ramming has proven effective 60% of the time against henchmen and goons.
Still, it's not nearly as effective as the Two-Fisted Strike with Interwoven Fingers.