Thursday, July 21, 2005

Superhero Tactics 101: Neck Ramming



Today we're beginning a new feature here at Dave's Long Box, Superhero Tactics 101, which will spotlight different combat maneuvers used by superheroes in an effort to better understand, and thus mock them.

When you're a superhero, sometimes shit gets crazy. Sometimes, when you really need to take that sonuvabitch villain down, when you really need to get the job done - that's right...

...you have to ram them with your neck!

The classic Neck Ramming maneuver is fairly simple. The hero flies at high speed at the target, head down, and rams the target with the back of his/her neck. That's about it.

It never works.

I know. It came as a shock to me, too. But after extensive research into Neck Ramming, I discovered that never - not once, ever- has any superhero put a villain down by Neck Ramming them. The statistics are grim for Neck Ramming advocates. Better news on the henchman front, though; studies show that Neck Ramming has proven effective 60% of the time against henchmen and goons.

Still, it's not nearly as effective as the Two-Fisted Strike with Interwoven Fingers.

35 comments:

Gar Berner said...

Ah, the Two-Fisted Strike with Interwoven Fingers..
In some geographic areas, (with my friends anyway), we call it the 'Double Jimmy®' to honor James Kirk in his fight with the Gorn.

I don't recall Kirk ever using his neck, except to woo the ladies, of course!

Dan Coyle said...

Have you seen the covers for this month's "Sacrifice" event in the Superman books? It looks like Superman's trying the dreaded "elbowing someone in line" move!

RobB said...

I always thought that cover looked more like Supes was being thrown at Doomsday involuntarily, rather than hitting Doomsday with his neck, as an intentional grand offensive maneuver.

David Campbell said...

I like how the 4 covers for that storyline all feature the same awkward ska dance pose, but with different characters. They should do a series of covers with Superman "dirty dancing" with Darkseid or maybe doing lambada, the forbidden dance with Metallo. I'd buy them.

And Gar, I am going to steal "Double Jimmy" from you. That's brilliant.

Dan Coyle said...

Speaking of Trek, in honor of the late, great, James Doohan, someone should scan that page from Bendis' Total Sell Out where Bendis is sitting w/Doohan as he waves to fans saying "Beam me up, Scotty!"

Bendis says, "Wow, that's really nice of you to wave to everyone like that.

Doohan replies, "Not really, I hate the little bastards. Beam this up, ya fuckers."

kelvingreen said...

I think I've actually seen some forward neck-ramming too somewhere, probably in a Liefeld comic.

Mark Hale said...

Oh god. I'm in a crummy mood today and I want so badly to make a Christopher Reeve joke, but I know I'd regret it.

Well, I wouldn't, not really, but it would bring unwanted ire down on me, I suspect, and I don't want that.

Plus I don't really have a joke. I was pretty much going to point and giggle and say "Christopher Reeve."

I'm gonna stop now.

Jeff R. said...

Forward-neck ramming in a Liefeld comic? Given Liefeldian anatomy, wouldn't that necessarily be breast-ramming (whether the rammer is male or female...)

Winterteeth said...

Attack a villain with my neck? It's so crazy..it just. might. work.

Dan Coyle said...

That's Cartoon Cliche #2!

SW said...

Would the 'Dramatic-Utterance-Before-Striking' fall into this discussion? Y'know, before ramming an opponent with your neck or delivering the 'Double Jimmy', you'd bellow "For Thanagar!" or "The kid gloves are off!" or "Damn you, I loved that chimp!"

I've seen this done with the 'Outrageously Telegraphed Haymaker', which has been used by hero and damsel-in-distress alike.

kelvingreen said...

Ah, the Dramatic-Utterance-Before-Striking, most commonly employed of course, by the mighty Thor, my particular favourite being "I say thee NAY!!!" shortly before twatting someone with Mjolnir.

SW said...

'I say thee NAY!!!'...wow, I'm about to let my geek show in a major way, as I admit that I've actually said that phrase to my kids from time to time.

That's right, gang! Keep your kids in line by quoting Thor (just don't swing a hammer at them!)

Anonymous said...

Thou shalt share thine Legos with yonder playmate, or by Od's beard and Hela's icy kiss - YOU - WILL - FALLL!!!!

kelvingreen said...

Just as long as you don't dive into the local community swimming pool screaming "FOR THE GLORY OF ASGARD!!!" you should be okay...

Shane Bailey said...

Could you imagine Thor giving "the talk" to his kids. :)

kelvingreen said...

It can also be a tad embarrassing to bellow "FOR ASGARD!" at the point of climax.

Or so I hear.

Cove West said...

Take a look at Superman's foot in that cover. For one thing, it's way too small and narrow (unless one assumes that evolution has deemed a body-supporting appendage useless for a man who doesn't have to stand) and it has that weird toe shape that Bart Sears used to love to draw in his WIZARD art column. But it occurs to me that Doomsday may not be Superman's concern here. In actuality, it appears that he is using his neck against Doomsday's chest as leverage to either kick himself in the nuts or shove his heel in his ass. Mxyzptlk up to his old mischief, I guess.

And if you think "For Asgard!" is a poor choice for the bedroom, I definitely pity the woman who has to keep hearing "For Odin!" several times a night.

Anonymous said...

As a woman, I love buzzing in here and listening to you guys talk. It's just like when I was eight years old and my childhood playmate would point to comic book superheroes and say things like, "Wow! Her butt's just like an orange," or "She could poke you in the eye!"

And then I read:

And if you think "For Asgard!" is a poor choice for the bedroom, I definitely pity the woman who has to keep hearing "For Odin!" several times a night.

Several? You guys and your superhero dreams.

Anonymous said...

LOL Maybe he meant several times a month -that sounds more acurate!

David Campbell said...

As the kids today say, "Oh, SNAP!"

Cove West said...

Hey, the guy's a god. And not the red-haired ogre of the Thor of legend, but a sun-haired, golden-skinned, blue-eyed Adonis (with a winged helmet that I'm sure must drive all the girls wild with lust). "Several" is practically a slow night for our thunderer. Besides, it's in the Code of Godhood to have outrageous virility. Look at all the crazy-ass stuff Zeus used to do, like turn himself into dildos and a rain of sperm, as though he were a horny Wonder Twin ("Form of...a condom! Shape of...a toilet!"). So enhanced stamina isn't even something worth bragging about over a mug of mead with the other gods.

Though Thor must have a lot of fun with that mortal/god bodyswitch thing Mjolnir does. World's second freakiest threesome (next to Captain Marvel, of course. THAT is truly bizarre).

SW said...

All together, folks....

"Sorrrrry, Mrs. Campbell!"

Guess some of the folks forgot that your mom reads your blog, Dave.

kelvingreen said...

Which Captain Marvel? I mean, at least Rick Jones is of legal age. If Shazam ever gets any, that's bordering on statuatory rape.

kelvingreen said...

Blimey, we've lowered the tone dramatically, haven't we?

Of course, by "we" I mean "me"

Konstantinos Stamoulis said...

hey Dave, I have a recommendation for you.

Batman: Scottish Connection , or

JLA: Earth 2

- both drawn by the superb Frank Quitely


I 'll explain.

1) Since this blog is American superhero-centric and some of the latest posts referred to lame art, or the hero or villain behaving like idiots, it's only natural you should balance such comics with the exact opposites (Earth-2 style), both in art and script.

2) more people should witness the panel in Earth-2 where a close-up in Batman's mask/cowl reveals a thicker lens descending and fully covering the white eye-slit, prior to a flash-bang grenade exploding and thus blinding some nameless-thugs.
A fine example of kick-ass and ingenious superhero storytelling.

3) The cinematic moments can provide an excellent antidote to neck-ramming antics, Liefieldian anatomy and the oxymoron of a low budget, talking heads superhero story.

4) Frank Quitely is god. He draws a mean Batman, as well as some of the most kick-ass Batman moments ever.

Cove West said...

Why is it that every time I post here, I somehow always end up talking like a pimp? It's Dave's fault, honestly! He keeps triggering my Freudian proclivities with his posts!

Superman's Neck Attack = Thor, God of Sweet Lovin'

C'mon! Who wouldn't make that connection? Err...maybe I should stop now...

kelvingreen said...

Seconded for Earth2. It takes a while to get used to Quitely, and I still think the plot of the book is a bit dodgy, but it's a great read.

David Campbell said...

I go away for a day and you people get OUT OF CONTROL!

I loves me the Earth-2, and pretty much anything Quitely, so I'll put that in the queue.

kelvingreen said...

How about Quitely's much-forgotten superhero/delta blues thingie for Dark Horse? Blackjack or something.

Anonymous said...

^^ nice blog!! ^@^

徵信, 徵信, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信社, 感情挽回, 婚姻挽回, 挽回婚姻, 挽回感情, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信, 捉姦, 徵信公司, 通姦, 通姦罪, 抓姦, 抓猴, 捉猴, 捉姦, 監聽, 調查跟蹤, 反跟蹤, 外遇問題, 徵信, 捉姦, 女人徵信, 女子徵信, 外遇問題, 女子徵信, 徵信社, 外遇, 徵信公司, 徵信網, 外遇蒐證, 抓姦, 抓猴, 捉猴, 調查跟蹤, 反跟蹤, 感情挽回, 挽回感情, 婚姻挽回, 挽回婚姻, 外遇沖開, 抓姦, 女子徵信, 外遇蒐證, 外遇, 通姦, 通姦罪, 贍養費, 徵信, 徵信社, 抓姦, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信公司, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信公司, 徵信社, 徵信公司, 女人徵信, 外遇

徵信, 徵信網, 徵信社, 徵信網, 外遇, 徵信, 徵信社, 抓姦, 徵信, 女人徵信, 徵信社, 女人徵信社, 外遇, 抓姦, 徵信公司, 徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信社, 女人徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 女子徵信社, 女子徵信社, 女子徵信社, 女子徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社,

徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 外遇, 抓姦, 離婚, 外遇,離婚,

徵信, 外遇, 離婚, 徵信社, 徵信, 外遇, 抓姦, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 外遇, 徵信社, 徵信, 外遇, 抓姦, 徵信社, 征信, 征信, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 征信, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信, 外遇, 抓姦

eda said...

101煙火,煙火批發,煙火工廠,製造浪漫煙火小舖,101煙火,煙火小舖,煙火,衣蝶,衣蝶,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣商品,情趣,情趣,衣蝶情趣精品百貨,衣蝶情趣精品百貨,情趣用品衣蝶,情趣用品衣蝶,煙火批發,情趣禮品,成人用品,情趣內衣,情趣精品,情趣商品,單身戀人圖影區,情趣用品,情趣用品,情趣,情趣,真愛密碼情趣用品,真愛密碼,真愛密碼,真愛密碼情趣用品,情趣用品真愛密碼,情趣用品真愛密碼,

Anonymous said...

借錢 借貸 借貸 借錢 當舖 當舖 當舖 借錢 票貼 借款 借貸 借錢 票貼 二胎 二胎指南 借貸 週轉 融資 借貸 借錢 借貸 票貼 借錢找星光 借錢找星光 借錢找星光 借錢找星光 借錢找星光 借貸找星光 借貸找星光 當舖找星光 當舖找星光 票貼找星光 票貼找星光 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 融資sos995 票貼 借錢 借貸 票貼 借貸指南 借貸指南 當舖 票貼 借錢 借貸 借款 貼現 貼現 借貸找星光 借貸找星光 借貸找星光 借錢 票貼 借貸 當舖 票貼 借貸 借錢 借貸指南 借貸指南 借貸指南 借錢 借貸 借貸 票貼 借款 借貸 借錢 借貸 借錢 票貼 票貼 借貸指南 借貸指南 借貸找星光 借貸找星光 借錢找星光 借錢找星光 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 借貸指南 網站搜尋 網站名錄 網址目錄 directory 網站登錄 網站目錄 網站指南

Anonymous said...

借貸指南 借貸指南 借貸指南 票貼指南 票貼指南 票貼指南 票貼指南 票貼指南 票貼指南 票貼指南 二胎指南 二胎房貸 二胎車貸指南 借錢週轉 融資信貸網 借貸9797 借錢888 借貸9797 票貼急救網 借貸指南 借錢888 借錢888 借錢888 借錢888 借貸9797 借貸9797 當舖指南 當舖指南 票貼優質網 票貼優質網 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 融資聯盟網 票貼優質網 借錢 借貸9797 票貼急救網 借據範本 借據範本 票貼優質網 借錢指南 借貸指南 二胎 二胎指南 貼現指南 貼現指南 借貸9797 借貸9797 借貸9797 借錢 票貼指南 借貸 二胎 二胎指南 票貼指南 借貸 借錢 借貸指南 借貸指南 借貸指南 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 借貸指南 票貼指南 借款指南 借貸 借錢 借貸 借錢 票貼 票貼 借貸指南 借貸指南 借貸9797 借貸9797 借錢888 借錢888 借貸指南 網站搜尋 網站名錄 網址目錄 directory 網站登錄 網站目錄 網站指南 台灣網站指南 網站搜索 交換連結 借錢 借貸

www.muebles-en-collado-villalba.com said...

Thanks for the post, pretty helpful data.