BATMAN STRIKES #44 by my homeboy Josh Elder. This is a good ol' fashioned all-ages team-up between the Dark Knight and the Man of Steel as they hunt a maniac who is carving up trans-gender hookers on the streets of Metropolis.KIDDING!!! I kid. There isn't even one dead hooker in the comic, I swear. Buy two copies and give one to your nephew, it's good old fashioned comic book fun in the mighty DC manner, with solid art by Chris Jones. You might remember Josh Elder from his hilarious Mail Order Ninja comic - he's the Real Deal and is one of those writers who hasn't lost sight of the whole "comics can be fun" thing. Go check it out.
THE OFFICIAL HANDBOOK OF THE INVINCIBLE UNIVERSE has now been collected in a slick trade paperback and is available for sale at Amazon. I highly recommend this as well because I wrote a lot of the entries and I think it's a neat homage to the old Mark Gruenwald era Marvel Handbooks. Plus, haven't you always wanted to know about Shrinking Ray's backstory? Sure you have. If you didn't pick it up in the stores when it originally came out, you owe it to your country to buy the trade paperback today! Yes, regardless of what country you live in - unless it's I Hate Comics Land. If that's the case, %&*@ you, pal!
Next up: a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT that you won't like.
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Whoohoo! I'm so glad I don't live in I-Hate-Comics-Land, or even I-Hate-Transgender-Hookers-Land, so that I can enjoy this post...
big announcement we won't like? you are retiring the blog, aren't you?
That's what I think too. Which means Dave scores a FAIL on the whole "I'm going to review my comic book collection" quest.
An annoucement we won't like? That could mean anything. This is the internet.
If you are retiring to do your ABC blog, just, please God, don't leave us one of those half-bitter, sad "I just don't have the time and I get so tired of how mean everyone is" good-bye posts.
That doesn't sound good at all . . .
My guess for the announcement - Dave is turning the writing for this blog over to Carrot Top.
I think the announcement is going to be that he's a maniac who is carving up trans-gender hookers on the streets of Metropolis.
I certainly wouldn't like that.
Something we won't like? He's probably bringing back the Velvet Marauder (Ha! I kid. Possible Dave's swiped the only copy of the last Planetary script and is vowing never to publish? Messing with Ellis is probably something that should be avoided).
You're killing me...
An annoucnement we won't like?
Just tell us.
You're going to start blooging about comics on a regular basis again, aren't you?
~GQ
I bet it's that Dave's retiring because he's too ashamed of constantly being out-manned by Chris Sims.
Also, I-Hate-Comics-Land? Protip: it's called the internet.
"I think the announcement is going to be that he's a maniac who is carving up trans-gender hookers on the streets of Metropolis.
I certainly wouldn't like that."
What's not to like? That is AWESOME!
What's not to like? That is AWESOME!
Not if you're a transgender hooker, it isn't.
You know how many transgender hookers there are in Metropolis? I don't know, but Jimmy Olsen does.
Actually, since they already have Jimmy Olsen, how many more transgender hookers does Metropolis need?
Well, Josh Elder is my best internet comic book buddy, so I always wish him the wonders of the ages for achieving his dream!
Now if Dave quits the Longbox I'll hunt him down and shave him in creative ways.
An announcement that we won't like...
...hmmmmmm...
could it be that you're announcing your upcoming Man-Wedding to Chris Sims and the bitter fued between you was merely a "krazy kat & ignatz" type of courtship, and now that you'll be "joined" (must...get...image..out..of...head.)
BOTH of your blogs will be about reviewing recipe's for tasty treats and discussing window-treatments?
Hm? Is THAT it?
It IS, isn't it.
Well, more fool you, my friend.
I enjoy tasty treats and my windows could use some fresh ideas.
So THERE!
~P~
P-TOR
Alan the Alien is getting his own series?
Well, we know it CAN'T be "Dave's shrine of David Patrick Kelley", so frankly, I'm stumped.
Is it that you've made a deal with mephisto?
Just don't tell us that you've actually been a clone for the past 15 years, and now the "real" Dave is replacing you.
Have you been sitting in the Tiny Chair again, Dave?
"I'll hunt him down and shave him in creative ways."
I'm stealing this line.
~GQ
News we won't like:
1) Dave Campbell never existed in current continuity
2) Skrulls replaced Dave Campbell with an Awesome Skrull 6 years ago
3) Dave's Long Box, brought to you by your friends at Human/Animal Hybrid Embryo Research Labs
4) Dave Campbell failed his MOT last week due to excessive emissions.
5) Dave's Long Box is available only on Pay Per View.
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