Sunday, May 06, 2007

"Darf? I have a triple tall nonfat latte for Darf."

Here's a few panels from the original Marvel adaptation of Star Wars that I stole from the Artist Formerly Known As Harvey Jerkwater. Darth Vader levitates himself a nonfat latte before he uses his force powers on a mouthy Imperial flag officer.
Because Darth Vader will choke an admiral.

23 comments:

tim said...

I know the power of the darkside is strong.. but how is it going to help him drink that? can't exactly sip on it.

I mean, by the time he gets back to that chamber where he takes his helmet off, it'll be all cold.

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking Lord Vader likes to keep a cup of hot liquid around at all times, so he can throw it into the face at those who mock the power of the Force, or who cruelly taunt him by making deep breathing noises when he walks by in the hallway.

Anonymous said...

That's interesting. Back in the '70s, when no one knew much of anything about Darth Vader's history, I wonder how the artist thhought Vader would drink that. A straw, maybe? Of course now that we know Vader was Jake Lloyd, then Hayden Christiansen, he'll probably go back to his room, spill hot coffee on his crotch, and sue the Imperials. Vader's the reason all the cups in the Death Star carried that "Warning: Contents of cup ar hot!" label. Jerk.

Anon #21

Anonymous said...

Hmm. Find the rebels' "hidden fortress?" Was that the spoken line? I always thought it was hidden base, or some such. Including "hidden fortress" in the script is a pretty obvious acknowledgement, isn't it? I didn't realize he was that open about it from the beginning.

Bully said...

Hey, if Doctor Doom can hoist all those cups of wine that he can ever drink, then Darth can hoist a stryofoam space cup of Bantha Blend, double blue milk.

Arkonbey said...

Darth would either use an evil, black straw or just use the force to guide mouthfulls of drink through his grill into his mouth.

Also, Tarkin stops the choking in New Hope, but Darth chokes the Imperial Navy officer corps with complete impunity in ESB and ROTJ.

He seems to have gotten a promotion after having allowed the death star to be destroyed. Good job, Darthie!

Doola! said...

That explains why Vader was such a moody bitch, choking people all the time. It had been twenty years since his last cup of coffee, and he had the worst caffeine headache in history. Every now and then, he thoughtlessly reaches out for a cup of joe, realizes he can't drink it, and lashes out at the nearest Imperial twerp he can get the Force on...

Jess said...

Ah...such a classic. I even spoofed those panels a few months ago over at my blog.

I always imagined him sipping it through the mask like Rick Moranis in Spaceballs.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Cobra Commander had a straw that he could pop through a small opening in his faceplate, howscome Darth didn't have something like that?

Anonymous said...

Is Darth Vader gonna hafta choke an admiral!??!?

I do believe Darth Vader gonna hafta choke an admiral!!!

Scott said...

It looks to me like the scene was drawn with Vader holding his hand out in the last panel, and someone , maybe the inker, made a mistake and added the glass there and in the previous two panels.

It makes no sense from a scripting point of view to have some Imperial officer doubting the Force as Vader is telekinetically flying cups of coffee across the room.

David Lawson said...

Darth Vader's cup of coffee is kind of like Bill Lumberg's coffee mug from Office Space, something he carries around while he wanders around the Death Star hassling people.

beta ray steve said...

"I find your lack of foam disturbing.."

Edward Liu said...

Scott: It makes no sense from a scripting point of view to have some Imperial officer doubting the Force as Vader is telekinetically flying cups of coffee across the room.

That's EXACTLY why Darth finds his lack of faith so disturbing.

David Lawson: Darth Vader's cup of coffee is kind of like Bill Lumberg's coffee mug from Office Space, something he carries around while he wanders around the Death Star hassling people.

"Yeaaaaah. The thing is, we have a new cover sheet for the TPS reports, which you failed to use properly. I'm gonna have to force choke you now."

>glick<

"I'll see you get a copy of the memo."

PaulW said...

OMG! It all makes sense now!

What was the name of the movie series? Star Wars.

What was the name of the the class of ship that scene took place in? Star Destroyer.

What was the name of the moon-sized battle station? Death Star.

Notice a theme?

Right.

So what is the name of the branch of the Empire designed to make money? Star Bucks.

They're ubiquitous. Everywhere you turn, there's another one. And (although there are a few types/classes), they're all the same.

And what do they serve? Coffee. You can dress it up with as much cream, flavoring, sweetener, and foam as you like, but underneath it all, at its heart, it is... black. The epitome of darkness.

No wonder their beans are over-roasted to the point of being burnt. No wonder their vile brews are so bitter.

tim said...

beta ray steve said...

"I find your lack of foam disturbing.."


my goodness, that made funny come out of my face.

Anonymous said...

Vader ingesting coffee through his breath-screen would be a serious breach of the canon. The only explaination that makes any sense whatsoever is that the Death Star is a drug-free workplace, and the Dark Lord of the Sith is collecting urine samples from the various admirals. BTW, everybody knows that's Howard Chaykin what drawed that, right? Right!
DMCK

Phillip said...

He does say "hidden fortress" in some versions of the script, as do other characters (Tarkin, Vader) however in other versions the word fotress is, er, choked off. I don't recall how it went down on screen, though.

(Word verification: wuddy. Bartender from Cheers, right?

Caleb said...

18 comments and no joke about Darth Vader drinking dark coffee. I'm horribly disappointed in this thread.

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