What kind of psychologically disfigured individual does it take to join one of these cult groups, anyway? Look at those Kobra Cult guys. Does Kobra have funky Starro mind-control powers? Those guys look brain-fried. Yet there they are, chanting their Mardi-Gras-snake-costumed leader's name, so totally into the idea of dying for some reason they are too stupid to understand. That's actually pretty damn scary if Kobra can get them to do that. "Go, die, because I say so stupid!" If I could do that, I'd be a snake-inspired cult leader myself.
Does make you wonder, however, if Kobra wouldn't be more successful if he left the "die repelling the intruders" part as more of a suggestion, rather than a command. How many times over the years has Kobra been thwarted maybe just because his minions were faced with either killing a hero or dying in the attempt and chose to follow orders?
Imagine if that was really Kobra's bent in the DCU. Could you imagine what the testimonials would sound like on the infomercials?
"Thanks to Kobra, I've started my own business, lost 75 pounds, bought my own home, and wiped out half of New York."
"I read Kobra's 'Mastering the Henchman Within', and I was changed forever. Because of it, I have embraced my role in the universe, and if Kobra wants to choke me for getting his coffee wrong, I'll 'gak gak' with pride."
"I used to be 300 lbs, chained to the wall in my 10x10 apartment, eating dog food - and then Kobra showed me how to untap my Personal Power. Now I drive an SUV, I own a condo in Delray Beach, and I am helping to usher in the Kali-Yuga, the Age of Chaos! Hail Naja Naja!"
ROFL! I could totally see some of those guys doing testimonials, too. Most probably the guy to the right of Kobra's hand who looks like his mere proximity to Kobra has given him an epiphany.
Wouldn't it be awesome if Kobra became like the equivalent to Marvel's Taskmaster? But instead of training evil people how to fight, he simply trains people how to be evil? And there could be a whole host of lame villains who aren't necessarily part of the Kobra Cult, but they go to Kobra's and return more badass? Like "Underworld Unleashed", only without the magic, or Johns' Rogues in FLASH. "You may have defeated me before, Flash, back when I was just a lame gimmick! But now, thanks to Lord Kobra, the Rainbow Raider has returned with a heart full of blackness! Behold, the Raider of the Dark Rain! I will eat your children! < evil laugh >!"
"You may have defeated me before, Flash, back when I was just a lame gimmick! But now, thanks to Lord Kobra, the Rainbow Raider has returned with a heart full of blackness! Behold, the Raider of the Dark Rain! I will eat your children! < evil laugh >!"
That's beautiful, Cove! I hurt myself laughing at that one. Think of what Kobra could have done for Slipknot....
My only exposure to Kobra is through his (excellent) Suicide Squad appearances, but I seem to recall that one of his defining character traits is that he's astonishingly charismatic. Doesn't his whole plan in his second SS storyline rely on him convincing his captors to switch sides and join him?
(I'm being deliberately vague to avoid spoilers--it's a great story, and you should either read it or get Dave to blog about it.)
Kobra hatesss cute animationsss!
ReplyDeleteKobra, I guess, makes the money to fund his world domination schemes by doing management seminars for Fortune 500 companies.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of psychologically disfigured individual does it take to join one of these cult groups, anyway? Look at those Kobra Cult guys. Does Kobra have funky Starro mind-control powers? Those guys look brain-fried. Yet there they are, chanting their Mardi-Gras-snake-costumed leader's name, so totally into the idea of dying for some reason they are too stupid to understand. That's actually pretty damn scary if Kobra can get them to do that. "Go, die, because I say so stupid!" If I could do that, I'd be a snake-inspired cult leader myself.
ReplyDeleteDoes make you wonder, however, if Kobra wouldn't be more successful if he left the "die repelling the intruders" part as more of a suggestion, rather than a command. How many times over the years has Kobra been thwarted maybe just because his minions were faced with either killing a hero or dying in the attempt and chose to follow orders?
Kobra is really Tony Robbins.
ReplyDeleteBrrr... that's power, man....
Imagine if that was really Kobra's bent in the DCU. Could you imagine what the testimonials would sound like on the infomercials?
"Thanks to Kobra, I've started my own business, lost 75 pounds, bought my own home, and wiped out half of New York."
"I read Kobra's 'Mastering the Henchman Within', and I was changed forever. Because of it, I have embraced my role in the universe, and if Kobra wants to choke me for getting his coffee wrong, I'll 'gak gak' with pride."
"I used to be 300 lbs, chained to the wall in my 10x10 apartment, eating dog food - and then Kobra showed me how to untap my Personal Power. Now I drive an SUV, I own a condo in Delray Beach, and I am helping to usher in the Kali-Yuga, the Age of Chaos! Hail Naja Naja!"
ReplyDeleteThis has been filed away for future use in a company memo.
ReplyDeleteI really don't want to be anonymous, I just can't remember my (p)assword.
And that's why I am the boss here.
ROFL! I could totally see some of those guys doing testimonials, too. Most probably the guy to the right of Kobra's hand who looks like his mere proximity to Kobra has given him an epiphany.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't it be awesome if Kobra became like the equivalent to Marvel's Taskmaster? But instead of training evil people how to fight, he simply trains people how to be evil? And there could be a whole host of lame villains who aren't necessarily part of the Kobra Cult, but they go to Kobra's and return more badass? Like "Underworld Unleashed", only without the magic, or Johns' Rogues in FLASH. "You may have defeated me before, Flash, back when I was just a lame gimmick! But now, thanks to Lord Kobra, the Rainbow Raider has returned with a heart full of blackness! Behold, the Raider of the Dark Rain! I will eat your children! < evil laugh >!"
Apparently the "K" in "Kobra" stands for "Koran."
ReplyDeleteQUBRA... LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA.
ReplyDeleteIt had to be said.
"...you will be blessed beyond your puerile capacity to conceive!"
ReplyDeleteNot only is he a self-help guru, but Kobra apparently also has a stash of fertility drugs and/or viagra!
I wrote the comment about being the boss, but I did not write those others.
ReplyDeletePlease refer to me as Anon One."
"You may have defeated me before, Flash, back when I was just a lame gimmick! But now, thanks to Lord Kobra, the Rainbow Raider has returned with a heart full of blackness! Behold, the Raider of the Dark Rain! I will eat your children! < evil laugh >!"
ReplyDeleteThat's beautiful, Cove! I hurt myself laughing at that one. Think of what Kobra could have done for Slipknot....
Hail Naja Naja!
My only exposure to Kobra is through his (excellent) Suicide Squad appearances, but I seem to recall that one of his defining character traits is that he's astonishingly charismatic. Doesn't his whole plan in his second SS storyline rely on him convincing his captors to switch sides and join him?
ReplyDelete(I'm being deliberately vague to avoid spoilers--it's a great story, and you should either read it or get Dave to blog about it.)
It's ON - I love that Suicide Squad storyline; it's in queue for Kobra Week, as well as the Janus Directive...
ReplyDeleteWell, I lied. I'll have to hit the Janus Directive when "Crossover Week" rolls around.
ReplyDeleteMan, that little dancing hillbilly dragon at the top of the page is annoying, isn't it?
借錢 借貸 借貸 借錢 當舖 當舖 當舖 借錢 票貼 借款 借貸 借錢 票貼 二胎 二胎指南 借貸 週轉 融資 借貸 借錢 借貸 票貼 借錢找星光 借錢找星光 借錢找星光 借錢找星光 借錢找星光 借貸找星光 借貸找星光 當舖找星光 當舖找星光 票貼找星光 票貼找星光 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 融資sos995 票貼 借錢 借貸 票貼 借貸指南 借貸指南 當舖 票貼 借錢 借貸 借款 貼現 貼現 借貸找星光 借貸找星光 借貸找星光 借錢 票貼 借貸 當舖 票貼 借貸 借錢 借貸指南 借貸指南 借貸指南 借錢 借貸 借貸 票貼 借款 借貸 借錢 借貸 借錢 票貼 票貼 借貸指南 借貸指南 借貸找星光 借貸找星光 借錢找星光 借錢找星光 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 借貸指南 網站搜尋 網站名錄 網址目錄 directory 網站登錄 網站目錄 網站指南
ReplyDelete借貸指南 借貸指南 借貸指南 票貼指南 票貼指南 票貼指南 票貼指南 票貼指南 票貼指南 票貼指南 二胎指南 二胎房貸 二胎車貸指南 借錢週轉 融資信貸網 借貸9797 借錢888 借貸9797 票貼急救網 借貸指南 借錢888 借錢888 借錢888 借錢888 借貸9797 借貸9797 當舖指南 當舖指南 票貼優質網 票貼優質網 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 融資聯盟網 票貼優質網 借錢 借貸9797 票貼急救網 借據範本 借據範本 票貼優質網 借錢指南 借貸指南 二胎 二胎指南 貼現指南 貼現指南 借貸9797 借貸9797 借貸9797 借錢 票貼指南 借貸 二胎 二胎指南 票貼指南 借貸 借錢 借貸指南 借貸指南 借貸指南 票貼急救網 票貼急救網 借貸指南 票貼指南 借款指南 借貸 借錢 借貸 借錢 票貼 票貼 借貸指南 借貸指南 借貸9797 借貸9797 借錢888 借錢888 借貸指南 網站搜尋 網站名錄 網址目錄 directory 網站登錄 網站目錄 網站指南 台灣網站指南 網站搜索 交換連結 借錢 借貸
ReplyDelete